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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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On Earth as it is in Heaven.
4
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Give us this day our daily bread
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and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
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Lead us not into temptation, deliver us from evil,
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for thine is the Kingdom and the power...
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Mother.
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How much longer do we have
to have Daddy at the table?
10
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- And the glory...
- It is pushing it, Clare.
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Sidney's been dead a week already.
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Forever, Amen.
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Amen.
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Now leave Clare alone.
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It's so hard to let go, to say goodbye.
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Rosa, you have destroyed my priceless Steuben.
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- Please Señora Lipkin.
- That platter was irreplaceable.
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What is it, Clare?
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- Please, I did not mean to.
- No, I'm sure you didn't.
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And I... I don't really mean this.
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They always make a sound.
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Wait!
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Just a moment.
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Daddy gave me that Steuben.
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I want her to hurt the way I hurt inside.
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Juan, they've killed Rosa.
27
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They've killed Rosa, hurry!
28
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- Mo bought it at Abercrombie and Fitch.
- It's divine.
29
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Does it make much of a mess?
30
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Oh, it's wonderful, blood everywhere.
31
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Well, let me have a look at that.
32
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- Cunning, isn't it?
- Oh Mo, you've always had a talent to abuse.
33
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Rosita?
34
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,060
What did they do to you?
35
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My face is on fire, like a terrible jewel.
36
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Tell me, is not a human heart
like Steuben, irreplaceable.
37
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Don't talk.
38
00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:50,450
Tonight, revenge will best be served hot.
39
00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:58,460
Hurry, he's coming.
40
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:09,100
Well, if it isn't Cantinflas with the stilton soup.
41
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Look at his basket, hard as a stale baguette.
42
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Time for your facial peel, Mrs. Lipkin.
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Gonna take ten years off.
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Surprise!
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♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
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♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
47
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♪ Happy birthday, dear Juan. ♪
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♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪
49
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- Rosa, you're all right?
- Yes.
50
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It was all part of the surprise.
51
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Mrs. Lipkin, she was working on it for weeks.
52
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You didn't really think I'd kill a maid, did you?
53
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Although, I must say, it felt wonderful!
54
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You should've seen your face.
55
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Oh, for Christ's sake, bring on the cake.
56
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Yes!
57
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You did all this for me?
58
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Yes.
59
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And because Sidney...
60
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is gone now,
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I'm going to give you the greatest gift of all.
62
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I should be writing for Dynasty.
63
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Kick ass.
64
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Lipkin residence.
65
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Hey, Frank.
66
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No, I was just dozing.
67
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What?
68
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The balcony?
69
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,010
What... all right, okay, I'm going.
70
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Whoa, check it out.
71
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Is that right, I thought she looked familiar.
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I mean, the back of head anyway.
73
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Guess she ain't eaten in days.
74
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Shit, they're back already.
75
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I'll check you later, man.
76
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Oh, it's for me, I know it.
77
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- Rosa, can you find us some coffee?
- Si, señora.
78
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Well, it's finally over.
79
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Sidney Lipkin Companies have completed
their much awaited merger with Mother Earth, Inc.
80
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They'll give the sagging maggot industry
an instantaneous boost in the arm.
81
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What a horrid, fabulous thing to say.
82
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I'm so glad you're here, Mo.
83
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I can feel a binge coming on, ready?
84
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Binge, now wait just a minute, Mrs. Lipkin,
if TV's Hillary is going to make a come back,
85
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it's not going to be on the cover of The Enquirer.
86
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Hillary does not look like a jowly blowfish.
87
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Hillary is svelte, Hillary is suburban.
88
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Thirty-five years old and still a bulimic.
89
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Thirty-five?
90
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Binge and purge, binge and purge.
91
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Well, Sidney has been purged
and I am ready for the binge.
92
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:37,720
What are you doing, are you trying to ruin my
reputation as Beverly Hills' foremost thinologist?
93
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Honestly. Bojangles?
94
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,270
Where's my favorite chien sauvage?
95
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- Bojangles, here boy, Bojangles.
- Mom, how long is that thing going to be tomorrow?
96
00:08:47,230 --> 00:08:48,900
I told Mimi I'd go to the beach with her.
97
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,110
Darling, that thing is your father's wake.
98
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And you will be there and you will like it.
99
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Sorry, Mother.
100
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Mimi, that thing is my father's wake.
101
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I thought Sidney looked smashing
in that little Turnbull and Asser chemise.
102
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:06,130
Did you pick that out or was it one of the maids?
103
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,840
Well, they tried like hell
to get the stain out but couldn't quite do it.
104
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,260
Did you see the lipstick on his collar?
105
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At least they got if off his fly.
106
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- Yes, Mrs. Lipkin?
- Oh, Juan, I've been looking for you.
107
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:18,470
Can you make sure the guest rooms are ready
for our next-door neighbor and company?
108
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:20,520
Her brother Peter and his new wife
will be staying with us
109
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while she puts the termites to sleep.
110
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- More slack!
- No, no, pull up on on your side.
111
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It's one monster house, isn't it?
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Yeah, hey, let's get that up on the side.
113
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Peter?
114
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Exterminating again, Beth?
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Don't call me Beth.
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You always call me Beth when you think I'm pitiful.
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To-Bel, this is my sister Lisabeth.
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- Lisabeth.
- How do you do?
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- I've heard so much about you.
- Oh.
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I'm desperate to meet your wife.
121
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With all these tents, she's gonna think
your sister is straight out of Ringling Brothers.
122
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- To-Bel and I were in Vegas.
- Vegas?
123
00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:00,560
- You don't go to Vegas.
- Well, we did and we got married.
124
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,100
Then we had dinner with Shirley MacLaine.
125
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- I see, the two of you?
- Yeah.
126
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What was your name again?
127
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Uh, To-Bel.
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She's so svelte.
129
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,240
Peter, who does she look like?
130
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,540
Well, I get Diahann Carroll,
Leslie Uggams, and Cicely Tyson.
131
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:28,080
- Frank?
- Oh, it's gorgeous.
132
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,710
Oh, we're not staying here, Clare's putting us up.
133
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,670
You haven't met Clare yet, have you, honey?
134
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Her husband just dropped dead.
135
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,470
Frank, could you just take
my brother's things over to Clare's?
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00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,600
- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you.
137
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- Lis, are you still seeing your shrink?
- No.
138
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I've had it with doctors.
139
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I just finished divorcing
a goddamn gynecologist, Peter.
140
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Why do you think I'm exterminating,
for Christ's sake?
141
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♪ A lipstick's traces an airline ticket
to romantic places. ♪
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Hey, man, what are you doing, let go!
143
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,750
I ain't got no bread, man, I just work here.
144
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June-Bug, call off Mr. T.
145
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You looking good, June-Bug.
146
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Nice coat.
147
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$3,700 reduced.
148
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What you got here, huh?
149
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:33,230
Oh, um, I got some sprouts, some pâté.
150
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:34,650
You hungry?
151
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:38,400
- I don't eat that shit.
- Well, I got some chicken in the house.
152
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Let me go inside and fix you a sandwich.
153
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You like Dijon mustard?
154
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What I was really looking for was some rabbit.
155
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You ain't got the no rabbit, do you, Juan?
156
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I'm getting it together, June-Bug,
just give me till next week.
157
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,590
Rabbits ain't too bright.
158
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Rabbits and Mexicans' brains ain't too big.
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00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,220
Monday, baby, you have it for me then.
160
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My word is gold, I've been trying to tell you that.
161
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Just ask around, man.
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Sorry if I got rough.
163
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Hey, it's a business, I don't hold it against you.
164
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- You don't?
- Hell no... what the fuck?
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- My eye!
- Monday morning, Chico,
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you have the money or else you wind up on Avila Street
167
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,660
selling tortillas out of a tin cup.
168
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,700
Home, James.
169
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,880
We met five days ago in Hawaii.
170
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,420
In Come-On-I-Wanna-Lay-Ya.
171
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,090
Then we flew straight to Vegas in a private jet.
172
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The kind that almost killed the pope.
173
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:43,890
Uncle Peter!
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00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:46,180
Well, hello, champ.
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00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,270
Careful, careful, Peter.
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- I want you to meet your new aunt.
- I'm To-Bel.
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00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:54,360
- You're what?
- Boy, have I heard stories about you.
178
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,230
Peter tells me that you and your mama
are gonna take a trip to Africa next year.
179
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,320
Do you know people there?
180
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,740
I wouldn't go to Africa, Beth.
181
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:05,120
We're not going to that Africa,
we're going to the good Africa.
182
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,910
Isn't it interesting,
but I have no desire to go to Africa.
183
00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:10,870
None whatsoever.
184
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,080
Israel, yes.
185
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,340
Now who's your friend, where are we staying?
186
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:18,960
Clare, she's an actress, but I know you want to
freshen up before we go over there.
187
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,840
Honey, where are you going?
188
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,340
- I'm going next door to practice piano.
- Okay.
189
00:13:23,340 --> 00:13:25,760
- How long are we gonna stay there?
- Just the weekend.
190
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,600
- Until the exterminators are through.
- Bye.
191
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:33,850
How is he, really?
192
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:36,690
He's... he's fine, he's in remission.
193
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,610
The bags are next door.
194
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,530
Hm, say, what is it you got there, a computer?
195
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,780
It's a word processor, I write with it.
196
00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,700
Never saw one so small.
197
00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:50,290
Hm.
198
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:51,790
That was inside my suitcase.
199
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:54,500
He opens the bags to lay your things out.
200
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,460
Deep inside my suitcase.
201
00:13:56,460 --> 00:14:00,960
- Peter, don't be paranoid.
- Well, you can't trust them.
202
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:02,670
God knows who they really are!
203
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,630
And what do we do, we let them in!
204
00:14:04,630 --> 00:14:09,130
With their dirty skin and their thieving hands
and their crooked smiles, they're killers!
205
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,350
They kill our world with their contempt!
206
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:16,440
We have everything to lose,
they nothing and they're always at home.
207
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,820
- At home with their black hearts!
- Peter!
208
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:21,030
What the hell has gotten into you?
209
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:23,990
- Do you like it?
- It's from his new play.
210
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:58,560
- Hello, Clare.
- Sidney?
211
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,350
- How?
- I'm afraid the coroner's report
212
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:04,270
will show death by autoerotic strangulation.
213
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:06,730
- Am I awake?
- Were you ever?
214
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:10,820
When I plucked you from that crappy TV sitcom,
you cared.
215
00:17:10,820 --> 00:17:14,370
You burned for me, it wasn't my money.
216
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:18,370
That's not fair, I loved you,
it was you who abandoned me.
217
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,540
You might as well have
said your wedding vows to a mirror.
218
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,620
While you were saying yours to a Vegas chorus line?
219
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:26,710
Then Zandra was born,
that's when I really became invisible.
220
00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:30,920
That's when you stopped touching me,
when I had my baby.
221
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,380
Why, Sidney?
222
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,760
I wanted to kill myself.
223
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:40,260
Zandra, how I loved that kid.
224
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:43,600
Hm, I'd buy her Saks Fifth Avenue if I could.
225
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,150
I've made a little discovery about the dead.
226
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:51,650
They feel, they need, they desire.
227
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:54,910
Stay away, stay away.
228
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:57,280
You know, the funny thing is, you were right.
229
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,370
When I was alive, I wanted to ball anyone but you.
230
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:03,920
Now you're the only one I want.
231
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:07,960
- Oh my God!
- Death doesn't make any sense without you, Clare.
232
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:12,460
You'll love it in Hell, I've already picked out
a house for us just like this one.
233
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,310
Juan, would you tell Mrs. Lipkin
that her guests have arrived?
234
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,390
Yes, of course.
235
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,070
You're gonna love Clare,
she used to be Hillary.
236
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,530
- She's planning a comeback.
- Hello.
237
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:34,990
Clare, this is my brother, Peter,
and his wife, Toby.
238
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,700
To-Bel, it's To-Bel.
239
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,780
Pleased to meet you.
240
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,910
Well, the brother. Lisabeth's told me all about you.
241
00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:45,080
- Oh.
- I love what you've done with your home.
242
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:49,500
Oh, well, my late husband liked the idea of
an English manor trapped inside an Italian Villa
243
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,920
and me trapped right along with it.
244
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,630
We were so sorry to hear about your loss.
245
00:18:54,630 --> 00:18:57,680
Well, my husband was sorrier,
as Groucho would say.
246
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,430
I... I do recognize you from TV.
247
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:03,930
Well, I'm afraid they syndicated me this year
on all those awful satellite channels.
248
00:19:03,930 --> 00:19:06,440
I hear that in Salvador you get your choice of torture.
249
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,940
Genital clamps or Hillary.
250
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:10,690
Oh!
251
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:12,480
Oh, she's funny!
252
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,110
- So when did you get engaged?
- Fast.
253
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,740
We'll have known each other a week come Sunday.
254
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,620
They didn't rush into anything.
255
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:26,120
So many couples don't take the extra
two or three days to really learn about each other.
256
00:19:26,250 --> 00:19:29,750
We were both on the rebound.
257
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,460
- I just had the strangest daydream.
- It's awfully nice of you
258
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,590
to have gone to this much trouble.
259
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,760
Oh, it's nothing.
260
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,260
I have an idea, let's go to 72 Market Street for dinner
and why don't you ladies join us?
261
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:43,760
I don't think I will tonight,
but thank you for asking, very much.
262
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:46,810
- Lis, would you keep an old widow company?
- Oh, of course I will.
263
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,690
- You don't mind, do you, Peter?
- Not a bit.
264
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:51,560
Sweetheart, can we go to Rodeo Drive in the afternoon?
265
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:56,060
- Mo, this is my brother, Peter, and his wife Toby.
- It's To-Bel.
266
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,910
- Oh, To-Bel, how do you do?
- Hello.
267
00:20:00,910 --> 00:20:03,160
Nice to meet you.
268
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,160
So Mr. Hepburn, this is an honor.
269
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,580
I'm a great fan of your plays.
270
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,710
Stop it.
271
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:14,130
I understand you have a new play,
I wonder if there's any chance of getting...
272
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:17,840
No, no, not a prayer, not even my producer's seen it.
273
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,180
Baby, come here.
274
00:20:20,180 --> 00:20:21,640
Bojangles, stop that!
275
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,180
And what do you do, Mr. Van De Kamp?
276
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,930
It's Doctor, actually.
277
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:27,390
- I'm a thinologist...
- Oh!
278
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:35,400
Well, looks like Bojangles has made a new friend.
279
00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:49,120
Where'd you get that fucking robe?
280
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,120
From your room.
281
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,080
And where'd you get a Sulka?
282
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,090
- It belonged to the deceased.
- No shit.
283
00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:57,550
Lipkin's.
284
00:20:57,550 --> 00:21:00,220
All $3,000 of it.
285
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:04,760
The way I see it, you spent three grand on a bathrobe,
you deserve to die.
286
00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:10,230
And what happened to your face?
287
00:21:10,230 --> 00:21:11,770
Cut myself shaving.
288
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,610
- Frank, I'm in trouble.
- I'm listening.
289
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:22,700
If I don't have five grand by next week
290
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:27,200
the gangster from Montebello
gonna nail my brown butt to the grille of his Seville.
291
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,960
Five grand, huh?
292
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,420
Ponies kicked my ass, man.
293
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,580
Motherfucker came to the house today.
294
00:21:35,590 --> 00:21:38,130
And gave you a shave.
295
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,760
Right.
296
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,590
I didn't know you had a problem with gambling, Juan.
297
00:21:43,590 --> 00:21:47,220
Hey, what do you think, I'm gonna be
Chauffeur of The Month for the rest of my life?
298
00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:49,060
I got ambition, man.
299
00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:50,850
I just need a little stake.
300
00:21:50,850 --> 00:21:52,640
Get me some land.
301
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,850
Something that's mine, ya know?
302
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,280
Ever try hustling?
303
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,740
Frank, give me a break, man.
304
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,870
I'm serious.
305
00:22:05,870 --> 00:22:10,370
Got some rich, lonely people out there.
306
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:13,370
Lots of horny society ladies
307
00:22:13,370 --> 00:22:14,920
businessmen looking for company.
308
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,750
Businessmen?
309
00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:19,800
What do I look like, a midnight cowboy?
310
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,920
Hey, I got connections.
311
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,260
- I can set it up for ya.
- Hey, man, be constructive.
312
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,720
This guy June-Bug ain't fucking around.
313
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,310
Ugh.
314
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:34,100
Nice work if you could get it.
315
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:37,650
Hell, I used to hustle.
316
00:22:37,650 --> 00:22:39,070
Oh yeah?
317
00:22:39,070 --> 00:22:40,520
On Rodeo Drive?
318
00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:44,860
Hey, being a houseman ain't my life.
319
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:46,570
I'm a painter, man.
320
00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:49,580
I wrote a novel, I worked the circus.
321
00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:52,450
Shit, I know how to fly a fucking helicopter.
322
00:22:52,450 --> 00:22:56,000
You know, I've had more virgins
than you've had crabs.
323
00:22:58,540 --> 00:23:01,050
Whatever you say, Frank.
324
00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:05,010
But I could never make it with a dude.
325
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:08,680
Yeah, well, psychologists say
that you can break old patterns
326
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:13,180
by doing something new 21 days in a row.
327
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,640
You know, my husband was intimidated by my brain.
328
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:20,860
Oh, they shit on us for years
and we get addicted to the humiliation.
329
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:24,360
But if he was to ask you to marry him again,
you would, wouldn't you?
330
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:28,530
No way, I am over Dr. Howard Saravian.
331
00:23:28,530 --> 00:23:31,740
We are doomed
unless we break the cycle of need.
332
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:35,000
I read in a magazine
that you can break an old pattern
333
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,580
by doing something new 21 days in a row.
334
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:41,380
50, man, I finally had her, she was screaming.
335
00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,000
- No shit.
- I thought she was a virgin.
336
00:23:44,010 --> 00:23:46,300
- I was only 13, what did I know?
- Was it messy?
337
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:49,550
Blood everywhere,
hey, you sure she don't mind you driving her car?
338
00:23:49,550 --> 00:23:52,260
It's my job, I drive her fucking car.
339
00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:53,890
It's cool.
340
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:57,770
That was my first time.
341
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,070
Babysitters took a lot of cherries
in that neighborhood.
342
00:24:03,070 --> 00:24:06,650
- What about you?
- I was just a kid.
343
00:24:06,650 --> 00:24:09,240
I was on a bus to Texas.
344
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,700
The bus is half-empty, cold.
345
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:16,200
This couple gets on, rowdy, married,
white trash but smart, you know?
346
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,620
He falls asleep, she puts her hand on me.
347
00:24:20,630 --> 00:24:22,040
Fishes it out.
348
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,670
No shit.
349
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:26,920
Starts humming like she's darning a sock.
350
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,930
- And the husband's sleeping?
- So I thought.
351
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:34,430
But he... he's looking at it from the corner
of his eye like some crazed Catskill comic,
352
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,560
and barn, he's down there looking to choke.
353
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,650
Wait a minute, the dude is giving you head?
354
00:24:41,650 --> 00:24:44,360
What's a poor boy to do?
355
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:48,860
Gertrude Stein was right,
"A mouth is a mouth is a mouth."
356
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,860
Then what?
357
00:24:50,860 --> 00:24:53,030
They teach you all kinds of weird sex tricks?
358
00:24:53,030 --> 00:24:54,780
Hm.
359
00:24:54,780 --> 00:24:59,280
Taught me how to eat the fox,
how to cum while looking at certain ferns and plants,
360
00:25:00,460 --> 00:25:03,540
how to prolong orgasm by self-strangulation.
361
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:04,790
Oh, yeah?
362
00:25:04,790 --> 00:25:07,000
Hey, that's how Lipkin died, huh?
363
00:25:07,010 --> 00:25:10,170
You know, I should've never told him about that.
364
00:25:12,390 --> 00:25:15,300
Would you believe that I was a virgin
when I got married?
365
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:18,470
Well, so was I, according to my publicist.
366
00:25:18,470 --> 00:25:22,390
What was Howard like in bed?
367
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,900
He was a diamond cutter.
368
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:30,400
It's been nine months since we're separated
and I feel like a virgin again.
369
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,610
- I haven't let anyone touch me.
- You're kidding.
370
00:25:33,610 --> 00:25:37,950
All the men that I'm attracted to either turn out
to be gay or they want to take over.
371
00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:41,790
I don't think you're setting your sights low enough.
372
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,630
You're not gonna sell me the servants again, are you?
373
00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:45,830
Well, why the hell not?
374
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,510
I mean, they may not know shit about black-tie galas,
375
00:25:49,510 --> 00:25:51,880
Jack Russell Terriers, and semen facials
376
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,680
but they do know about us.
377
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,470
Hey, you seen that waitress
at the Casa de Cheesecake?
378
00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:00,470
Smalltime, com pad re.
379
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,230
You should set your sights higher.
380
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,150
You're right.
381
00:26:05,150 --> 00:26:07,440
You ever seen the hostess?
382
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,990
Ever sleep with someone you work for?
383
00:26:10,990 --> 00:26:13,780
Rich bitches getting it off with the help?
384
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:17,280
In movies maybe or cartoons in Playboy.
385
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,950
- You don't think they want it?
- From us?
386
00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:23,910
When they got all that rich cock?
Give me a break.
387
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:28,130
We're soft, they're hard,
they work, they eat, they fuck.
388
00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:29,960
And their women respect that.
389
00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:32,460
Keep the scores standing at rigid attention,
390
00:26:32,470 --> 00:26:34,130
step out of line and pop.
391
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:37,970
- Good kick.
- Yeah, they do abuse their women, don't they?
392
00:26:37,970 --> 00:26:42,470
Sweetheart, more and more I think that abuse
is a strictly Californian concept.
393
00:26:43,890 --> 00:26:46,480
I mean, they've been getting it
since they were nine years old
394
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,690
in schools in Switzerland, private jets, underwater.
395
00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:52,690
- Underwater?
- You better believe it,
396
00:26:52,690 --> 00:26:54,570
in fucking Tahiti or wherever.
397
00:26:54,610 --> 00:26:58,700
Women walk around with special vibrating balls
up their snatches.
398
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,200
They use dwarfs for dildos, man.
399
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,700
They piss on each other,
they have orgies with dead bodies.
400
00:27:05,830 --> 00:27:09,750
There is something
very D.H. Lawrence about Juan.
401
00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:14,250
Something dark and Aztec,
that one could never know.
402
00:27:15,630 --> 00:27:18,300
- And you know what?
- What?
403
00:27:18,300 --> 00:27:22,600
- He'd suck your box until your nose bled.
- Oh!
404
00:27:34,650 --> 00:27:36,320
Open it up.
405
00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:40,450
Did you steal this from the divorcée?
406
00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:43,990
It's my mad money, about five thousand there,
should be enough to get you out of hock.
407
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,410
Damn.
408
00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:46,710
What's this all about?
409
00:27:46,710 --> 00:27:48,710
Come upstairs, I got a proposition I wanna make you.
410
00:27:51,590 --> 00:27:53,840
Okay, let me get this straight.
411
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,300
We go for each other's bosses?
412
00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:04,800
You go for my divorcée, I go for your widow.
413
00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:07,810
And whoever wets his wick wins?
414
00:28:07,810 --> 00:28:09,980
With proof of course.
415
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:13,860
You might say that proof will be in the pudding.
416
00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:19,530
- What if we both get lucky?
- We draw.
417
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,740
The same if no one scores.
418
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,460
Give me $100 so I know you're not bullshitting.
419
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:35,170
Fair enough.
420
00:28:38,590 --> 00:28:40,470
We have a deal?
421
00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:48,810
All right.
422
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:52,190
You better check those Ben Franklins out good,
'cause soon they're gonna be growing little wings
423
00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:54,940
all white and fleecy, bye-bye, they're gonna say.
424
00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:57,610
Bye-bye, Frankie.
425
00:28:57,610 --> 00:28:59,150
Hey, wait a minute.
426
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,830
I ain't got no five grand.
427
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,160
I know.
428
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,410
So what do you want if I lose?
429
00:29:09,410 --> 00:29:13,380
Get to know you better.
430
00:29:13,380 --> 00:29:17,800
Um, how many times?
431
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,590
Just once.
432
00:29:32,350 --> 00:29:35,110
This is for sure some twisted shit.
433
00:30:06,850 --> 00:30:09,520
Frank, what are you doing here?
434
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,020
What do you want?
435
00:30:11,020 --> 00:30:12,980
You know what I want.
436
00:30:15,650 --> 00:30:18,110
- Well, I was just looking for a glass of milk.
- Mm-hm.
437
00:30:20,780 --> 00:30:24,780
You've been screwing me with your eyes
for two years, haven't you?
438
00:30:24,820 --> 00:30:26,700
Frank.
439
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,370
Frank.
440
00:30:28,370 --> 00:30:30,080
What if someone should see?
441
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,080
Who, Sidney?
442
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,920
He never saw you,
he never knew anything about you.
443
00:30:45,050 --> 00:30:48,220
And chocolate won't fix it, Clare.
444
00:30:53,930 --> 00:30:56,730
You won't tell Mo, will you?
445
00:30:56,730 --> 00:31:00,690
Look at you, you're like a little girl.
446
00:31:00,690 --> 00:31:05,190
Don't tell Mo, don't tell Daddy,
447
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,740
don't touch me here.
448
00:31:07,740 --> 00:31:10,330
Don't touch me there.
449
00:31:10,330 --> 00:31:12,450
Don't do this.
450
00:31:12,450 --> 00:31:15,410
Don't do that.
451
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,630
Let me take care
of that sweet tooth for you, Clare.
452
00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:25,170
- Oh, Frank.
- Mm-hm.
453
00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:33,100
Clare.
454
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,950
Frank, you go that way.
455
00:31:54,950 --> 00:31:57,960
Frank, what is it, what are you doing here?
456
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:08,420
These perverse gentlemen
have made a slanderous assertion.
457
00:32:10,140 --> 00:32:14,640
- Are you Mrs. Saravian?
- I'm Mrs. Saravian... Mrs. Hepburn-Saravian.
458
00:32:15,270 --> 00:32:16,600
We're divorced.
459
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,480
Come in officers, come in.
460
00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:23,820
We found him urinating into the tank
of a motorcycle parked next door.
461
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:25,690
You pissed in my Harley?
462
00:32:25,690 --> 00:32:30,190
Keep him away from me,
he'll cornhole anything that's half-sloshed.
463
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,120
Oh, don't flatter yourself, Howard.
464
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,620
- Everything okay, Mrs. Lipkin?
- Yes.
465
00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:36,240
Will you be quiet, you're gonna wake Willie!
466
00:32:36,250 --> 00:32:39,210
- Willie, how is he?
- Juan, would you take Dr. Saravian
467
00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:40,460
up to the green room or something?
468
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:41,710
Oh, no.
469
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:44,840
Sorry to have troubled you.
Goodnight, Mrs. Saravian.
470
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,720
It's Hepburn-Saravian. Goodnight.
471
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:51,090
Did I miss the funeral?
472
00:32:51,090 --> 00:32:55,180
Oh, I'm sure we could arrange
something impromptu, Howard.
473
00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:59,680
Willie. My son, Willie!
474
00:33:00,230 --> 00:33:01,940
Willie!
475
00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:06,940
I didn't mean anything.
476
00:33:06,940 --> 00:33:08,360
Christ.
477
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,490
It's the Santa Anas, I hate myself.
478
00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:14,490
Oh, sweetheart, come on, let me take care of you.
479
00:33:14,490 --> 00:33:18,870
- I don't deserve to be let in this house.
- Someone stop him!
480
00:33:40,140 --> 00:33:41,390
Well, I adore it.
481
00:33:41,390 --> 00:33:43,850
I have my very own Christo.
482
00:33:43,850 --> 00:33:46,690
So where's the good Dr. Van De Kamp this morning?
483
00:33:46,690 --> 00:33:49,570
Oh, they're talking to him
about some big Hunger Project.
484
00:33:49,570 --> 00:33:54,070
There's a rumor they might be exposing Mo's clinic
on 20 Minutes or whatever the hell it is.
485
00:33:54,450 --> 00:33:58,490
I like 60 Minutes, I've never watched 20 Minutes,
is it new?
486
00:33:58,490 --> 00:34:02,870
That woman from the magazine she called,
she wants to come tomorrow, is it okay?
487
00:34:02,870 --> 00:34:06,210
Yes, Rosa, thank you.
Tell her we expect her for brunch.
488
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,500
I am diving back into
the goldfish bowl with a vengeance
489
00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:12,420
and the public can stare till their eyeballs drop out.
490
00:34:12,420 --> 00:34:15,470
If they keep me well-fed.
491
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,430
Clare, are you out there?
492
00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:20,680
- Where the hell is everybody?
- We're out here, Howard.
493
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,690
What is he doing here?
494
00:34:22,690 --> 00:34:25,850
As of half an hour ago, some really soulful puking.
495
00:34:25,850 --> 00:34:28,770
- Is that your husband?
- Yes.
496
00:34:28,770 --> 00:34:30,940
- I'm missing my soaps.
- Morning, everyone.
497
00:34:30,940 --> 00:34:32,820
Christ, I'm sick.
498
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:37,320
- Clare, do you keep any suppositories?
- Mm, absolutely, in the refrigerator.
499
00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:39,830
- That's it, come here, come here.
- Peter.
500
00:34:39,830 --> 00:34:43,960
You think you can make my sister's life a living hell
and waltz back in like Ozzie and Harriet, huh?
501
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,750
- Down boys, down.
- Peter.
502
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:49,540
I can waltz in like Ozzie
or I can waltz in like Harriet,
503
00:34:49,550 --> 00:34:54,050
but I can't waltz in like Ozzie and Harriet,
it's just too taxing.
504
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,050
- Come on, come on!
- Peter, this is my house and you will behave.
505
00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:00,890
Howard, how are you feeling?
506
00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:03,520
- So sad about us.
- Eighteen years, Lis.
507
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,940
He walks out on you after 18 years
for something he meets at a pap smear party
508
00:35:06,940 --> 00:35:08,360
and now he's nostalgic?!
509
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,650
Peter, I can take care of myself.
510
00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:12,820
Now, go in the house.
511
00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:17,320
Peter?
512
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,450
I like watching your brother get mad.
513
00:35:20,450 --> 00:35:24,370
I can always tell what kind of a play he's working on.
514
00:35:35,090 --> 00:35:37,590
I love the soaps.
515
00:35:37,590 --> 00:35:39,850
I get all torn up.
516
00:35:39,850 --> 00:35:44,350
I just made the switch
from hard lenses to soft lenses.
517
00:35:45,140 --> 00:35:49,640
It's a motherfucker...
I mean, it's difficult on the eyes.
518
00:35:50,860 --> 00:35:55,360
I like things that are easy on the eyes.
519
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,450
You're pretty easy on the eyes.
520
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,620
That's what they called me in Philly, Philadelphia.
521
00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,790
Nice and easy.
522
00:36:06,790 --> 00:36:10,580
'Cause of my disposition.
523
00:36:10,580 --> 00:36:13,630
- I knew a girl looked just like you.
- Really?
524
00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:20,300
I wrote a poem about her.
525
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:22,300
You wanna hear it?
526
00:36:31,310 --> 00:36:34,770
Hey, chocolate mama.
527
00:36:34,780 --> 00:36:39,280
She's got a stomach like a Hershey snare drum.
528
00:36:40,530 --> 00:36:45,030
She's got an ass like a nasty heart
beating on the other side.
529
00:36:48,460 --> 00:36:52,960
Like a dark globe
of every place a man could want to go.
530
00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:59,550
Oh, how you talk.
531
00:37:01,390 --> 00:37:05,140
- You actually saw it?
- Yes, at La MaMa, it was wonder...
532
00:37:07,350 --> 00:37:09,060
- Damn.
- What?
533
00:37:10,810 --> 00:37:14,900
My cap or my crown I...
Shit, I think I've swallowed it.
534
00:37:17,570 --> 00:37:19,530
- It's stuck in my throat.
- Uh-oh.
535
00:37:19,530 --> 00:37:22,110
- Would you mind looking?
- Yeah, yeah.
536
00:37:24,490 --> 00:37:26,830
I don't see anything.
537
00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:28,790
I'll open up more.
538
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,750
Oh, wait I see something, I'm not sure what it is,
it's way down there.
539
00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:37,500
- Oh.
- Might be my future.
540
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,260
- Oh!
- Where's mom?
541
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,800
Oh, she's outside with your daddy.
542
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,300
Oh, boy, I gotta try and find To-Bel, we were
gonna do some shopping today, excuse me.
543
00:37:53,150 --> 00:37:55,480
Have you seen your daddy?
544
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,770
I just wish he'd go away and leave us alone.
545
00:38:00,860 --> 00:38:03,240
Sweetheart, the door's locked.
546
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,990
- Shit.
- Wait a minute, babe.
547
00:38:04,990 --> 00:38:09,490
Like sands through the hourglass,
so are the days of our lives.
548
00:38:09,790 --> 00:38:13,120
Sweetheart?
549
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,250
- The door's locked.
- Wait a minute, honey.
550
00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:19,550
Here I am.
551
00:38:22,630 --> 00:38:26,260
- What are you doing in here?
- Just watching my soaps.
552
00:38:26,300 --> 00:38:28,930
- You love your soaps, don't you?
- Mm-hm.
553
00:38:28,930 --> 00:38:30,680
Mm.
554
00:38:33,190 --> 00:38:34,850
That's a funny taste.
555
00:38:34,850 --> 00:38:38,610
Uh, sweetheart, I want to see
Rodeo Drive today, I really do,
556
00:38:38,610 --> 00:38:41,480
and I really think that we should check into a hotel.
557
00:38:41,490 --> 00:38:45,570
No, no, I, um... I want to be here for my sister.
558
00:38:45,570 --> 00:38:47,120
And I don't want to insult her friend.
559
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:50,030
Hey, everything's gonna be fine, okay?
560
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,290
You know, we'll go shopping, we'll come home.
561
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:54,580
I don't like parties for dead people.
562
00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:57,460
We'll sneak upstairs, we'll fool around.
563
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:01,000
How long has it been, four hours?
564
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,010
Goddamn winds
have the whole world on the rag.
565
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:07,590
Oh, looks who's here, Bojangles,
you remember Uncle Peter and Aunt To-Bel.
566
00:39:07,590 --> 00:39:10,310
Dr. Mo, how are things with the Hunger Project?
567
00:39:10,310 --> 00:39:13,890
Well, do you know Ralph Ebersol,
the game show host?
568
00:39:13,890 --> 00:39:17,310
Well, he's a client at my clinic
and he's top dog in Hunger.
569
00:39:17,310 --> 00:39:20,860
People don't like to talk about it, you know,
but there's a lot of money in Hunger.
570
00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:23,820
Anyway, they want my expertise
but they're playing games.
571
00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:26,150
Oh, sweetheart, would you wait for me a minute?
572
00:39:26,150 --> 00:39:29,990
- I want to get an apple.
- Yeah, baby.
573
00:39:29,990 --> 00:39:31,870
I understand you've gotten some pretty bad press.
574
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:36,330
We've had a string of... that is,
a handful of deaths at the clinic.
575
00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:38,500
Unpleasant coverage in the media.
576
00:39:38,500 --> 00:39:41,880
Look, I don't care who you talk to,
when you get a bunch of rich, fat people
577
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,840
who are determined to get thin at any price,
some of them are going to die.
578
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,550
It's just a rule of thumb.
579
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,890
Mrs. Lipkin said there'd be
some suppositories in here.
580
00:39:53,890 --> 00:39:56,520
Why don't you try heating up
some nice corn-on-the-cob
581
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,810
- and shoving that up your ass.
- To-Bel.
582
00:39:58,810 --> 00:40:03,190
Nobody walks on To-Bel, nobody.
583
00:40:03,190 --> 00:40:04,570
How did you find me?
584
00:40:04,570 --> 00:40:06,570
Now isn't that typical?
585
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:10,160
I married your wife's brother,
now how's that for fucking real.
586
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,950
Don't you get between me and Lis.
587
00:40:12,950 --> 00:40:16,160
What you and I had was beautiful but it's over.
588
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:20,660
A thing ain't over till you can
kick the dead body and it don't fart.
589
00:40:20,750 --> 00:40:22,710
I'll do anything you say, I'll give you money...
590
00:40:22,710 --> 00:40:26,840
For two hours I sat in
that damn honky-tonk Honolulu bar,
591
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,800
waiting for you to come back from the head.
592
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,300
Everyone thought I was a hooker.
593
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:34,800
Well, you just hold on tight, Doctor,
because what goes around comes around.
594
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,100
Now you get out of my goddamn way,
I'm going to get me some Louis Vuitton.
595
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,570
And I want you to run down to Felters
and pick me up some new duds
596
00:40:48,570 --> 00:40:50,320
- and rent me a car, will you?
- Yes, sir.
597
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:53,200
- I don't know where I left the last one.
- I'll take care of it.
598
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:57,580
One more thing,
I want you to talk to Mrs. Saravian, Lis.
599
00:40:57,580 --> 00:40:59,710
- Okay.
- The two of you are close.
600
00:40:59,710 --> 00:41:02,920
I've gotta have her back, Frank,
I know she needs me.
601
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,460
You can help her to see that.
602
00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:09,510
In the joint,
Cupid was my middle name, Doctor.
603
00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,550
Really?
604
00:41:11,550 --> 00:41:14,140
You and me, we're a lot alike.
605
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,730
We see something we want, we go for it.
606
00:41:18,730 --> 00:41:22,100
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, the shoe could easily be on the other foot.
607
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:26,530
You could be worth $14 million
and I could be hustling for peanuts.
608
00:41:26,530 --> 00:41:30,740
We're from different stratagems of society.
609
00:41:30,740 --> 00:41:34,620
You're caviar, I'm fast food.
610
00:41:34,620 --> 00:41:37,580
But I want to cross over, like Rubén Blades.
611
00:41:37,580 --> 00:41:40,290
- Cross over?
- I'm not looking for a relationship.
612
00:41:40,290 --> 00:41:43,790
That takes time and I know for you time is money,
I respect that.
613
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:50,340
Look, my wallet,
it can't buy me no stocks and bonds.
614
00:41:51,550 --> 00:41:56,010
But my hands are Cadillac Coupe deVilles.
615
00:41:56,010 --> 00:41:58,600
My body is a Rolls-Royce Corniche.
616
00:42:05,310 --> 00:42:07,820
Hey, that was a good one, huh?
617
00:42:07,820 --> 00:42:10,650
I oughta be at the comedy store,
huh, Mrs. Hepburn-Saravian?
618
00:42:13,780 --> 00:42:15,660
May I talk to you for a second?
619
00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:18,120
- It's about Dr. Saravian.
- Ugh.
620
00:44:06,100 --> 00:44:08,850
You're gonna be a hit with the ladies, Tito.
621
00:44:08,850 --> 00:44:12,610
Just wait till you get a little older.
622
00:44:12,650 --> 00:44:16,530
I'm not gonna get any older, can't you understand?
623
00:44:16,530 --> 00:44:18,990
It's getting worse.
624
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:21,570
I had a funny dream last night.
625
00:44:21,580 --> 00:44:23,490
Stained my underpants.
626
00:44:23,490 --> 00:44:26,620
Oh, man, that was a wet dream.
627
00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:30,960
Ain't you ever heard of jacking off?
628
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,960
Well, sure, but its bad for you, isn't it?
629
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,880
I've been doing it six or seven times a day
for years and look at me.
630
00:44:40,340 --> 00:44:43,930
I don't know, Juan, I'm so confused.
631
00:44:43,930 --> 00:44:47,730
I think I'm in love with Zandra.
632
00:44:50,940 --> 00:44:53,190
I tell you what I'm going to do for you, Tito.
633
00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:55,780
I know a little something about love.
634
00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:59,400
I'm going to loan you some righteous video tapes.
635
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,410
Very inspirational.
636
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:06,120
Frank?
637
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,330
I'm dressing, what are you doing here?
638
00:45:10,420 --> 00:45:11,870
They always ask that.
639
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,420
Frank, I'm trying to get ready.
640
00:45:13,420 --> 00:45:17,920
Ugh, Clare, Clare, Clare, the first time I saw you,
you were wearing Valentino.
641
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:23,970
But you looked so hurt.
642
00:45:23,970 --> 00:45:25,680
Frank, your timing is off.
643
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:27,220
I'm not the bogeyman, Clare.
644
00:45:27,220 --> 00:45:29,940
Come on, it's my husband's wake.
645
00:45:29,940 --> 00:45:32,060
- I have to get ready.
- Sure.
646
00:45:32,060 --> 00:45:33,310
Yes.
647
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,860
- Gotta look good for Sidney.
- Mm-hm.
648
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:53,330
Oh, come on, Frank.
649
00:45:53,330 --> 00:45:55,960
- Sidney?
- Clare.
650
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,550
Why can't you leave me alone?
651
00:45:57,550 --> 00:45:59,130
I want to have my own life now.
652
00:45:59,130 --> 00:46:00,800
- With who, the help?
- Oh.
653
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,840
Really, darling, I don't think
you're setting your sights high enough.
654
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:07,470
- Bastard!
- Why did I ever listen to that strutting little prick?
655
00:46:07,470 --> 00:46:10,140
Strangling yourself during ejaculation.
656
00:46:10,140 --> 00:46:13,560
Oh, well, it sounded like fun at the time
and I was bored.
657
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,110
- You're an insane little ghost.
- I'm not the bogeyman, Clare.
658
00:46:17,110 --> 00:46:19,860
You're not gonna bully me, you're not gonna bully me,
I'm not gonna let you!
659
00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:22,400
I love the way the light pours in this room.
660
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,450
Jesus, Zandra isn't home yet.
661
00:46:26,450 --> 00:46:28,030
Isn't she supposed to be here for the wake?
662
00:46:28,030 --> 00:46:31,290
- Shut up!
- And that ridiculous little playwright,
663
00:46:31,290 --> 00:46:35,710
- am I supposed to feel threatened?
- Shut up, shut up!
664
00:46:35,710 --> 00:46:39,460
How dare you talk to me that way, you little shit.
665
00:46:39,460 --> 00:46:42,210
Get out of here and leave me alone, ugh!
666
00:46:42,220 --> 00:46:45,550
I have changed, Clare, just give it some time!
667
00:46:45,550 --> 00:46:47,720
Give me 21 days in a row.
668
00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:49,890
Son of a bitch!
669
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:51,520
Eat shit, Casper!
670
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,100
Ah!
671
00:47:02,860 --> 00:47:07,360
♪ A cigarette that bears a lipstick's traces. ♪
672
00:47:08,780 --> 00:47:13,280
♪ An airline ticket to romantic places. ♪
673
00:47:15,170 --> 00:47:19,670
♪ And still my heart has wings. ♪
674
00:47:20,750 --> 00:47:24,470
As a matter of fact I have, it's a three-act
called Nocturnal Admissions.
675
00:47:24,470 --> 00:47:28,970
It's ornery, sophomoric, unmannered as hell
and frankly, the best thing I've ever written.
676
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,720
You know he'd call the office three, four times a day.
677
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:36,770
Whenever the phone rings,
I still keep thinking it's Sidney.
678
00:47:36,770 --> 00:47:40,480
Clare, it went very fast,
he can't have felt any pain.
679
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:44,740
He loved you so, you were his world,
yet he was so tormented
680
00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:47,490
and now he's happy, he's free.
681
00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:49,280
So sad.
682
00:47:51,370 --> 00:47:53,450
I want to see him again.
683
00:47:53,450 --> 00:47:57,580
Just once before they take him away.
684
00:47:57,580 --> 00:48:01,340
Is that legal for the body to still be here?
685
00:48:04,420 --> 00:48:06,920
Do you think this means that I'm gonna die soon?
686
00:48:06,930 --> 00:48:10,850
Willie, you are going to live a long time.
687
00:48:10,890 --> 00:48:14,310
Bojangles always used to go ahead of me
and scout stuff out.
688
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:19,270
God's got us all playing fetch, doesn't he, Clare?
689
00:48:19,270 --> 00:48:20,560
Oh!
690
00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:26,610
You loved him too, didn't you, Rosa?
691
00:48:26,610 --> 00:48:31,110
Bojangles in arms of Quetzalcoatl now.
692
00:48:32,580 --> 00:48:35,160
He bark.
693
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:38,960
Bojangles vomit diamonds.
694
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:43,460
Kukulkan makes big, hot, beautiful turds.
695
00:48:46,630 --> 00:48:50,890
Together, they fight the jaguar,
696
00:48:50,930 --> 00:48:55,430
the monkey, and the evil Jesus.
697
00:48:56,770 --> 00:48:59,140
June-Bug, please,
I'm in the middle of serving up fondue.
698
00:48:59,140 --> 00:49:02,440
- These people are gonna throw a shit-fit if it's cold.
- You're a very funny guy.
699
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,860
Look, I said I'd have it, okay?
700
00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:07,690
- Motherfucker.
- Woo.
701
00:49:07,690 --> 00:49:11,780
You had the divorcée farting in her pantyhose
she was laughing so hard.
702
00:49:11,780 --> 00:49:16,280
It's part of my plan, I'm establishing a rapport.
703
00:49:16,330 --> 00:49:18,040
Hey, how's it going with the widow?
704
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,040
- She's freaked out about the dog.
- Yeah?
705
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,580
Well, maybe if you crap on the rug,
she'll get in the mood.
706
00:49:23,590 --> 00:49:26,090
Well, that's funny, Juan, that's funny.
707
00:49:26,090 --> 00:49:30,590
I must say, Peter, it's ragged, uneven,
pretentious, even preposterous.
708
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:35,680
In other words,
you've finally written something that will sell.
709
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:39,390
Are you trying to be clever or does your boozy brain
just yap, yap, yap old party tapes?
710
00:49:39,390 --> 00:49:41,730
Why don't you spit it out, you quack?
711
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:43,860
I was trying to pay you a compliment.
712
00:49:43,860 --> 00:49:48,320
I was talking about the castration scene
from your new play, Nocturnal Admissions.
713
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,780
- Who told you about that?
- I read it.
714
00:49:50,780 --> 00:49:52,700
No one reads my plays before they're ready.
715
00:49:52,700 --> 00:49:54,240
No one, no one!
716
00:49:54,240 --> 00:49:58,410
- Mr. Hepburn, withdraw yourself, sir, please.
- Show some respect, Peter.
717
00:49:58,410 --> 00:50:02,040
- This is a wake not a preview.
- Howard, stop fucking with him!
718
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,790
Well, wonderful, go ahead, ruin the wake,
kill yourselves, have fun.
719
00:50:05,790 --> 00:50:07,710
The man has no morals, Clare, I'm sorry.
720
00:50:07,710 --> 00:50:09,760
He's a moral psychopath!
721
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,550
Excuse me.
722
00:50:13,550 --> 00:50:15,470
Ugh!
723
00:50:15,470 --> 00:50:18,510
Rosa, could you serve the dessert now, please?
724
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:20,230
Clare, please forgive me.
725
00:50:20,230 --> 00:50:24,270
- Oh, Peter, come and tell me all about yourself.
- Ugh.
726
00:50:24,270 --> 00:50:28,770
Been working day and night on this play
and I think it's wonderful.
727
00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:32,070
My, you look lovely this evening, Ms. Bel.
728
00:50:32,070 --> 00:50:34,320
Why, thank you, Dr. Van De Kamp.
729
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:37,990
You know, I don't think I've had a chance to tell you
how much I admire your husband's work.
730
00:50:38,030 --> 00:50:39,830
Oh, my baby's a genius.
731
00:50:39,830 --> 00:50:41,500
He gonna make us lots of money.
732
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:43,920
Oh, no, I don't think so.
733
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:47,630
Your husband is a genius
but his kind of genius doesn't sell.
734
00:50:47,630 --> 00:50:49,550
Not in this town, anyway.
735
00:50:49,550 --> 00:50:53,420
I respect Peter Hepburn, I respect his vision,
I respect his courage
736
00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:57,640
to continue to do the kind of work he knows
will never bring him the big money.
737
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:02,140
But, uh, we live so well.
738
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,480
He spends and he knows Shirley MacLaine.
739
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:09,480
The money is just the last scraps
of a niggardly inheritance.
740
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,980
His mother was a suspicious woman,
she left them what I call a distrust fund.
741
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,120
As for his famous friends, well, let's just say,
playwrights make good pets
742
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:24,910
and God knows, Peter's nearly housebroken by now.
743
00:51:24,910 --> 00:51:29,410
Say, do you think he might introduce me
to Shirley MacLaine?
744
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:33,380
Why, Charlie Rader, I know it.
745
00:51:33,380 --> 00:51:37,880
They had great heart, 12 egg omelets and Krugerrands
and fever chills and silk pajamas
746
00:51:40,220 --> 00:51:44,720
and the whole goddamn sheer, gorgeous,
hopeless wonderment of...
747
00:51:46,730 --> 00:51:49,860
Shit, I can't remember the rest.
748
00:51:49,860 --> 00:51:53,280
Little Shylock was my first produced play,
it ran six performances.
749
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:57,780
New York Times said, "Look out, world,
a major poet is slouching towards Shubert Alley."
750
00:51:58,360 --> 00:51:59,870
How did you ever find it?
751
00:51:59,870 --> 00:52:01,910
In an anthology.
752
00:52:03,490 --> 00:52:06,000
Beautiful Losers, Volume 3.
753
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,210
Christ, what a reading you gave.
754
00:52:08,210 --> 00:52:10,250
Bernadette never sounded so regal.
755
00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:14,670
Would you... would you read a scene
from my new play?
756
00:52:14,670 --> 00:52:16,090
I'd love to.
757
00:52:16,090 --> 00:52:18,010
Come here, I'll read it with you.
758
00:52:23,010 --> 00:52:25,560
- Please, no.
- Let me go on.
759
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,850
I'm gonna act like a real man for once.
760
00:52:27,850 --> 00:52:30,600
— And hack it off at the root.
- You'd do that for me?
761
00:52:30,610 --> 00:52:32,060
Don't you see?
762
00:52:32,070 --> 00:52:35,030
It's these that have driven us apart.
763
00:52:35,030 --> 00:52:38,450
These petty dictators swathed in cheap leather.
764
00:52:38,450 --> 00:52:40,740
Greedy little monsters in an ugly wrinkled purse
765
00:52:40,740 --> 00:52:43,780
that have kept me
from the kingdom of monogamy!
766
00:52:43,790 --> 00:52:46,160
I'm begging you, put down the knife!
767
00:52:50,630 --> 00:52:53,540
Juan, you know how to knock, don't you?
768
00:52:53,540 --> 00:52:55,250
I'm sorry, I thought that...
769
00:52:55,250 --> 00:52:57,590
Well, instead of thinking,
why don't you go down to the kitchen
770
00:52:57,590 --> 00:53:02,090
and wrap some Brussels sprouts
in bacon or something.
771
00:53:02,720 --> 00:53:04,850
Yes, Mrs. Lipkin.
772
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,930
The night approacheth.
773
00:53:50,940 --> 00:53:55,110
My seed I wilt stab in thy gentle-alia.
774
00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:59,610
Sooth, soon I am thy fiancé no more.
775
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:04,780
Promise that you will obey
my ever lustful command, my lady.
776
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:08,700
Oh, Master, I am your bride.
777
00:54:08,700 --> 00:54:12,500
I promise that... oh.
778
00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:33,940
What is it, Grimalda?
779
00:54:33,940 --> 00:54:38,400
My lady, what troublest thou
on this joyous day?
780
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:42,900
I've withheld pleasures from my master
till he doth said he wouldst be connubially mine.
781
00:54:45,990 --> 00:54:50,490
And now his passion's inflamed,
yet I am unprepared.
782
00:54:51,700 --> 00:54:54,500
For I am a virgin.
783
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:57,500
- Oh.
- Aunt To-Bel?
784
00:54:57,500 --> 00:55:00,550
Wee child, I pray you.
785
00:55:00,550 --> 00:55:03,170
Let me do you right.
786
00:55:11,180 --> 00:55:13,140
Suppositories, Frank, that's what I recommend.
787
00:55:13,140 --> 00:55:15,190
- I use them myself...
- Hi, guys.
788
00:55:15,190 --> 00:55:17,100
- Where's Mom?
- You're late.
789
00:55:17,100 --> 00:55:18,980
I know.
790
00:55:18,980 --> 00:55:20,440
She's pissed.
791
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,440
I couldn't help it, PCH is closed.
792
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:23,990
Malibu's on fire.
793
00:55:23,990 --> 00:55:25,360
You look beautiful.
794
00:55:32,830 --> 00:55:35,160
Oh, ooh.
795
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:38,250
Ooh, yeah.
796
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:39,290
Willie?
797
00:55:39,340 --> 00:55:42,500
Oh! Oh! Oh!
798
00:55:42,510 --> 00:55:43,590
Willie?
799
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:46,010
Ooh, ooh.
800
00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:47,590
Come in!
801
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:51,680
What are you doing?
802
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:53,520
Watching your mom's Hillary pilot.
803
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,850
Just what Mo sent me to get.
804
00:55:56,850 --> 00:55:58,560
Wait, don't take that, I'm not done.
805
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,310
You are now.
806
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:09,160
I know what you were doing.
807
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:12,410
You're gonna grow hair on your palms
and go blind.
808
00:56:12,410 --> 00:56:14,450
The steroids are gonna do that anyway.
809
00:56:14,450 --> 00:56:17,410
Willie, you need to get a girlfriend
before you turn into a pervert.
810
00:56:17,420 --> 00:56:19,540
You mean like Frank?
811
00:56:22,590 --> 00:56:25,800
- Yes, I hear he wraps you entirely in protein.
- Really?
812
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,880
- Mm-hm.
- What's your name?
813
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,930
Persephone Cohen.
814
00:56:29,930 --> 00:56:32,220
Would you like to know something truly amazing?
815
00:56:32,220 --> 00:56:35,100
I've got your name tattooed on my ass.
816
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:37,810
- My whole name?
- Mm-hm.
817
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:41,900
Howard... excuse me.
818
00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:43,360
Howard, we've gotta talk.
819
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,480
Yes. Excuse me.
820
00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:51,360
Thank you.
821
00:56:51,410 --> 00:56:52,570
Say, that was pretty good.
822
00:56:52,580 --> 00:56:54,080
Your new play?
823
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:56,160
- I thought it was for real.
- Thank you, Juan.
824
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,710
Hope the critics are as appreciative.
825
00:56:57,710 --> 00:57:02,210
Yeah. But what it's about,
don't it freak out the ladies?
826
00:57:03,170 --> 00:57:05,300
Cuttin' them off themselves? Shit.
827
00:57:05,300 --> 00:57:06,920
I mean, he's trying to get her into bed, ain't he?
828
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,380
It's all in the writing, Juan, it's poetry.
829
00:57:09,380 --> 00:57:13,880
Hell, when a woman goes down on you,
half the time she's going down on what you say.
830
00:57:15,260 --> 00:57:16,850
Frank told you what?
831
00:57:16,850 --> 00:57:18,310
Now, don't be angry.
832
00:57:18,310 --> 00:57:22,810
He said that you talked in your sleep
the night the policeman brought you home.
833
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:26,690
Have you really been impotent
since you left me?
834
00:57:26,690 --> 00:57:27,940
I will have him fired.
835
00:57:27,940 --> 00:57:29,280
Now I demand that you fire him.
836
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,320
No, Frank was worried.
837
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:35,620
He's kind and he's decent and he's only got
other people's interests at heart.
838
00:57:35,620 --> 00:57:38,200
Now, about this woman that you left me for...
839
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:39,750
Oh, I never touched her.
840
00:57:39,750 --> 00:57:41,620
I mean, I touched her, she touched me,
841
00:57:41,620 --> 00:57:45,290
but that was all, nothing happened.
842
00:57:45,290 --> 00:57:47,250
I'm so ashamed.
843
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,840
I know what I have to do now.
844
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:51,930
What do you mean?
845
00:57:51,930 --> 00:57:54,600
I'm going to check into
the Mouette Chandalle Suite at the Wilshire
846
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:58,180
with all the surgical equipment I need
and I'll simply remove them.
847
00:57:58,180 --> 00:57:59,270
Remove them?
848
00:57:59,270 --> 00:58:01,060
I heard about a man
who took out his own appendix,
849
00:58:01,060 --> 00:58:03,850
so why not just hack them off at the root?
850
00:58:03,850 --> 00:58:06,360
Your balls?
851
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:07,780
My balls!
852
00:58:07,780 --> 00:58:10,280
I have no balls, Lis.
853
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:14,780
All I have is a set of fat,
petty dictators sewn up in cheap leather.
854
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:17,950
Howard, I am really worried about you.
855
00:58:17,950 --> 00:58:22,450
A couple of greedy monsters
dangling in a smarmy woman's purse,
856
00:58:24,830 --> 00:58:27,960
the kind you buy at Q Mart.
857
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:32,460
Monogamy was my kingdom,
and they have exiled me.
858
00:58:35,550 --> 00:58:38,720
Oh, poor baby.
859
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,640
Would you really do that for me?
860
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:43,190
Give us another chance, Lis.
861
00:58:43,190 --> 00:58:46,310
Don't let it die, not without a fight.
862
00:58:52,650 --> 00:58:55,490
Okay.
863
00:58:55,490 --> 00:58:57,030
Come to me.
864
00:58:57,030 --> 00:58:59,490
Tonight, after midnight.
865
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:09,040
Attenzione, attenzione, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a special treat for you tonight.
866
00:59:09,050 --> 00:59:13,550
By popular demand and in honor
of the impending revival of her series,
867
00:59:14,090 --> 00:59:15,800
we are presenting tonight,
for one showing only,
868
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:19,470
the original pilot of Hillary.
869
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:23,180
Bravo!
870
00:59:23,180 --> 00:59:25,230
- You do have the tape?
- Uh-huh.
871
00:59:25,230 --> 00:59:28,480
- Mo, do we have to?
- You gotta give the people what they want, honey.
872
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,070
That's showbiz, Mom.
873
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:33,990
Mo, you are evil.
874
00:59:33,990 --> 00:59:35,700
Lights!
875
00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:39,870
She's a wonderful comedienne,
and terribly underrated.
876
00:59:39,870 --> 00:59:42,580
- I love you.
- Howard, shh.
877
00:59:48,460 --> 00:59:50,920
Sweetheart? Excuse me.
878
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,510
The night approacheth.
879
00:59:56,510 --> 01:00:01,010
My seed I wilt stab in thy gentle-alia.
880
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:03,560
This doesn't look like episodic.
881
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,640
What is this, Mo?
882
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:07,940
I think I saw this on Eighth Avenue once.
883
01:00:07,940 --> 01:00:09,860
I am your bride.
884
01:00:09,860 --> 01:00:13,480
I promise it all.
885
01:00:18,450 --> 01:00:19,530
Shit.
886
01:00:21,330 --> 01:00:22,620
Ooh!
887
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:26,370
Oh, what happened?
888
01:00:26,370 --> 01:00:27,710
Turn it back on!
889
01:00:27,710 --> 01:00:29,120
Juan, go and do something about this.
890
01:00:29,130 --> 01:00:31,090
- Yes.
- Light some candles.
891
01:00:31,090 --> 01:00:32,380
What we need is some more...
892
01:00:43,350 --> 01:00:46,270
Aunt To-Bel.
893
01:00:46,270 --> 01:00:49,020
I thought you might not want anyone
to see this.
894
01:00:50,810 --> 01:00:54,610
I thought you were very good, my lady.
895
01:00:54,610 --> 01:00:59,110
You about the only man I can remember
that didn't want nothing from me.
896
01:00:59,490 --> 01:01:02,070
I'd like to give you something.
897
01:01:02,070 --> 01:01:06,570
Can you meet your Aunt To-Bel
in the pool house around midnight?
898
01:01:07,290 --> 01:01:09,960
- Sure.
- Okay.
899
01:01:16,420 --> 01:01:18,630
Oh.
900
01:01:18,630 --> 01:01:20,010
It's me.
901
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:21,760
Juan, why aren't you fixing the lights?
902
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,640
Mrs. Saravian?
903
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,100
Life is a bull fight.
904
01:01:25,100 --> 01:01:28,600
Yes, and right now it's a very dark bull fight.
905
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:30,230
So why don't you go back to the house and...
906
01:01:30,230 --> 01:01:34,730
I offer you the balls of
the great sad bull, my cojones.
907
01:01:37,230 --> 01:01:39,820
- Your what?
- My dictations, they've got leather on them,
908
01:01:39,820 --> 01:01:42,660
but this leather, it's cheap.
909
01:01:42,660 --> 01:01:45,450
- Juan, stop.
- Without your love, Mrs. Hepburn-Saravian,
910
01:01:45,450 --> 01:01:48,080
I'm just a sleazy woman's handbag.
911
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:52,080
My monsters have greed in their, uh, kingdom.
912
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,830
Their kingdom of...
913
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:57,960
- Monogamy.
- Monotony, yes.
914
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:02,460
Juan, that's very sweet,
but you just leave those dictations dangling
915
01:02:02,510 --> 01:02:04,930
in that handbag where they belong.
916
01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:09,430
Now, go and get a tray
of pigs in a blanket and circulate.
917
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:13,350
Okay.
918
01:02:29,790 --> 01:02:32,540
Lis? Where have you been?
919
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:34,290
I've been looking for you.
920
01:02:34,290 --> 01:02:36,210
Peter's just shown me his new play.
921
01:02:36,210 --> 01:02:37,380
Oh, have you read it?
922
01:02:37,380 --> 01:02:41,010
No, but it seems I've been to a few previews.
923
01:02:41,010 --> 01:02:42,670
He's a wizard.
924
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,890
Strange evening.
925
01:02:52,940 --> 01:02:55,350
You know Howard's a fraud, don't you?
926
01:02:57,150 --> 01:03:00,280
He never talked about you, isn't that funny?
927
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:01,900
It was you.
928
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:07,860
Sometimes I'd wake up
and he'd just be staring at me.
929
01:03:08,330 --> 01:03:11,410
He used to call me his "dark star."
930
01:03:11,410 --> 01:03:13,040
I like that.
931
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:16,750
Of course, I knew he was full of shit
and that's why we clicked.
932
01:03:16,750 --> 01:03:19,840
And it was just a coincidence
that you married my brother Peter?
933
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:23,010
Just a freaky little act of God.
934
01:03:23,010 --> 01:03:25,430
How do you know I won't tell him everything?
935
01:03:25,430 --> 01:03:27,590
It'll only hurt him.
936
01:03:27,590 --> 01:03:32,090
I care about your brother
and he loves me, come rain or come shine.
937
01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:36,310
Why are you telling me this?
938
01:03:38,980 --> 01:03:41,730
Shall I be honest?
939
01:03:41,730 --> 01:03:43,490
Please.
940
01:03:43,490 --> 01:03:45,950
Just the mood I was in.
941
01:04:01,590 --> 01:04:02,670
I love you, Clare.
942
01:04:02,670 --> 01:04:05,220
Clare, don't you love me?
943
01:04:05,220 --> 01:04:07,430
- Well, I...
- I knew it, I knew it.
944
01:04:07,430 --> 01:04:09,550
To-Bel and I were never right for each other.
945
01:04:09,550 --> 01:04:11,300
She has no ambition, no life experience.
946
01:04:11,310 --> 01:04:13,720
With To-Bel, what you see is what you get.
947
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,310
Clare, look at me, look at me!
948
01:04:15,310 --> 01:04:18,350
I know it's soon after Sidney and all,
but life is for the living.
949
01:04:18,350 --> 01:04:20,020
Help me, help me fight for us!
950
01:04:20,020 --> 01:04:21,400
Life is for the living.
951
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,900
We know better, don't we?
952
01:04:23,900 --> 01:04:26,360
Yes, for the living!
953
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:27,820
I'll make you so happy.
954
01:04:27,860 --> 01:04:30,490
I'll write you a wonderful play
and you're a great actress!
955
01:04:30,490 --> 01:04:31,740
Do you hear that?
956
01:04:31,740 --> 01:04:33,910
He loves the way I act,
he loves everything about me.
957
01:04:33,910 --> 01:04:35,330
Of course he does,
and I'll shout it to the world,
958
01:04:35,330 --> 01:04:36,660
because he loves you!
959
01:04:36,660 --> 01:04:38,960
I won't let you go, Clare, we're still involved.
960
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:42,130
Bullshit, it's my time now,
and I mean to prove it to you.
961
01:04:42,130 --> 01:04:44,050
- Peter?
- Yes?
962
01:04:44,050 --> 01:04:46,720
I need you to stay with me tonight.
963
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:48,720
Tonight, oh, Clare.
964
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:51,260
I need to prove my love to you.
965
01:04:51,260 --> 01:04:53,430
- Tonight then.
- Yes.
966
01:05:07,610 --> 01:05:09,030
Yeah?
967
01:05:11,490 --> 01:05:14,530
The Señora Saravian,
she ask for you to come.
968
01:05:14,540 --> 01:05:16,330
Hey, I don't work for that bitch.
969
01:05:16,330 --> 01:05:18,870
She needs a toilet roll changed,
she can get Frank to do it.
970
01:05:18,910 --> 01:05:21,170
Go, Juan.
971
01:05:21,170 --> 01:05:24,960
Fight the jaguar, Tezcatlipoca.
972
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:29,460
Make him puke like (unintelligible).
973
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:34,300
Morning Star, Evening Star.
974
01:05:35,680 --> 01:05:38,600
(unintelligible)
975
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:42,100
Walks with the dog.
976
01:05:48,190 --> 01:05:51,110
Come in, Juan.
977
01:05:53,410 --> 01:05:57,870
You ever heard of Illinger's?
978
01:05:57,870 --> 01:05:58,910
It's a deli, isn't it?
979
01:05:58,950 --> 01:06:00,910
Over there in Studio City?
980
01:06:05,090 --> 01:06:08,670
Whoa, little drunker than I thought.
981
01:06:08,670 --> 01:06:11,090
Could you help me with this?
982
01:06:19,140 --> 01:06:22,640
So, did you cut 'em off yet?
983
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:27,900
No, ma'am.
984
01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:29,940
Shut the door.
985
01:06:34,570 --> 01:06:39,070
You remind me of an orderly
that I knew at Illinger's, the nut house.
986
01:06:40,290 --> 01:06:42,910
He almost got me well.
987
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,830
And not by the usual methods.
988
01:06:49,630 --> 01:06:51,550
What is it, Juan?
989
01:06:54,970 --> 01:06:58,470
A couple of answered prayers
never hurt anybody.
990
01:07:01,310 --> 01:07:03,940
Please.
991
01:07:03,940 --> 01:07:06,980
I wanted you, but...
992
01:07:07,020 --> 01:07:08,770
not like this.
993
01:07:08,770 --> 01:07:10,730
Not like what?
994
01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:16,320
My grandma told me there were
just two kinds of people in this country:
995
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:18,990
People who can't feel
996
01:07:19,030 --> 01:07:21,410
and people who feel too much.
997
01:07:21,410 --> 01:07:24,000
Okay, which one am I?
998
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:25,370
You?
999
01:07:30,090 --> 01:07:34,590
You're like the warm wind you talk about,
1000
01:07:34,630 --> 01:07:38,720
blue mountains, Chevrolets,
1001
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:43,220
a wind full of a thousand smells
I ain't ever smelled before.
1002
01:07:43,350 --> 01:07:46,480
Is this my brother Peter talking?
1003
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:50,980
Or is this something you saw
on public television?
1004
01:07:51,190 --> 01:07:54,150
No, wait, don't go!
1005
01:07:54,150 --> 01:07:56,780
It is you, it really is you.
1006
01:07:56,780 --> 01:07:58,820
I'm sorry.
1007
01:07:58,820 --> 01:08:03,320
Well, you wanna get your paws full of honey?
1008
01:08:03,790 --> 01:08:06,370
Sad, furry bear.
1009
01:08:08,130 --> 01:08:09,710
Would you?
1010
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:32,860
It happens to everybody, Willie.
1011
01:08:32,860 --> 01:08:37,360
- I feel awful.
- Shit, that ain't always the measure of a man.
1012
01:08:37,490 --> 01:08:41,160
With what you faced,
you more man than most I've been with.
1013
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:43,580
- Really?
- Why, sure.
1014
01:08:43,580 --> 01:08:46,870
Lots of boys get nervous the first time.
1015
01:08:46,870 --> 01:08:51,370
And, if it's any consolation to you,
1016
01:08:51,590 --> 01:08:54,710
you're a whole lot better equipped
than your daddy.
1017
01:08:56,340 --> 01:08:59,380
Now why don't you go on and get some sleep?
1018
01:08:59,380 --> 01:09:01,390
To-Bel?
1019
01:09:01,390 --> 01:09:03,600
You're the best aunt a boy could have.
1020
01:09:24,950 --> 01:09:26,740
Clare?
1021
01:09:43,390 --> 01:09:45,510
Oh, Lis.
1022
01:09:47,430 --> 01:09:49,600
It's only you, Lis.
1023
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:51,730
Only you, always.
1024
01:09:51,730 --> 01:09:56,230
Yes, dear, but I feel so silly.
1025
01:09:56,780 --> 01:09:59,440
Juan and I are running a little late,
1026
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:02,030
so would you mind waiting outside?
1027
01:10:02,030 --> 01:10:04,740
Or if you like, you could come in
and read a book.
1028
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,700
You're up bright and early this morning.
1029
01:12:55,700 --> 01:12:56,830
Yeah.
1030
01:12:56,830 --> 01:12:59,540
Tossed and turned all night.
1031
01:12:59,540 --> 01:13:01,330
Mm-hm.
1032
01:13:10,340 --> 01:13:11,840
What's this?
1033
01:13:14,890 --> 01:13:16,180
Huh?
1034
01:13:18,310 --> 01:13:20,190
You screwed her, didn't you?
1035
01:13:20,190 --> 01:13:21,900
Screwed who?
1036
01:13:25,650 --> 01:13:27,740
Rosa told me she was asking for you.
1037
01:13:27,740 --> 01:13:29,700
She couldn't get the lid off her Valium.
1038
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:31,990
Hey, you listening to Rosa, man?
1039
01:13:31,990 --> 01:13:33,450
She got a dustpan loose.
1040
01:13:33,450 --> 01:13:35,790
So you didn't do Mrs. Hepburn-Saravian.
1041
01:13:35,790 --> 01:13:37,240
Hell no.
1042
01:13:37,250 --> 01:13:39,080
Did you do the widow?
1043
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,840
I'm working on it.
1044
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:51,300
Now, which one is Mrs. Lipkin?
1045
01:13:51,300 --> 01:13:53,760
She's at the head of the table
in the Hillary wig.
1046
01:13:53,760 --> 01:13:54,850
Clare?
1047
01:13:54,850 --> 01:13:57,180
- Kelly Margoland.
- Oh, Kelly!
1048
01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:59,140
Just in time for brunch.
1049
01:13:59,140 --> 01:14:00,810
Rosa!
1050
01:14:00,810 --> 01:14:02,650
Hello.
1051
01:14:02,650 --> 01:14:04,650
Rosa, can you bring another mimosa?
1052
01:14:04,650 --> 01:14:06,400
Come and sit down next to me.
1053
01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:09,490
I was beginning to think
you were just a voice on the phone.
1054
01:14:09,490 --> 01:14:12,160
Everyone, this is Kelly.
1055
01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:14,200
She's done a piece on me
for Lifestyle Magazine.
1056
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,530
- Oh, I adore Lifestyle.
- Oh, good!
1057
01:14:16,530 --> 01:14:18,200
Do tell me about the article.
1058
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,250
Is it going to be Whatever Happened to Hillary?
1059
01:14:20,250 --> 01:14:22,710
- Mm-hm!
- What are all these black flecks everywhere?
1060
01:14:22,710 --> 01:14:24,330
They're ashes from the fire.
1061
01:14:24,330 --> 01:14:26,340
Oh, my friend Mimi's house burned down.
1062
01:14:26,340 --> 01:14:28,630
But they have two others in Malibu, so...
1063
01:14:28,630 --> 01:14:31,670
There's supposedly 17 separate fires going.
1064
01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:34,430
- Seventeen?
- Spread over two or three counties!
1065
01:14:34,470 --> 01:14:36,350
The winds are fanning it.
1066
01:14:36,350 --> 01:14:38,180
No wonder I couldn't sleep.
1067
01:14:38,180 --> 01:14:40,350
The winds breed depression.
1068
01:14:40,350 --> 01:14:43,020
I recommend junk food
until you're ready to vomit,
1069
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,150
then a bracing salt water enema.
1070
01:14:46,150 --> 01:14:48,940
Ehecatl, the wind storm of shame,
1071
01:14:48,940 --> 01:14:53,440
the wild palms beat the Huehuetl
drum of annihilation.
1072
01:14:54,110 --> 01:14:56,160
Rosa, would you find us some on?
1073
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,870
Can we please stop talking
about the fucking wind?
1074
01:14:58,870 --> 01:14:59,990
Howard.
1075
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,580
Christ, this phony table talk's enough
to make anyone an arsonist.
1076
01:15:03,580 --> 01:15:04,830
Howard, what is it now?
1077
01:15:04,830 --> 01:15:08,550
Last night, I tried to go to bed with my ex-wife.
1078
01:15:08,550 --> 01:15:09,710
Howard, don't do this.
1079
01:15:09,710 --> 01:15:11,090
There are children here, and press.
1080
01:15:11,090 --> 01:15:12,590
I'm not children anymore.
1081
01:15:12,590 --> 01:15:15,130
Willie, last night I came to your mother.
1082
01:15:15,140 --> 01:15:17,470
Kelly, have you been working
for Lifestyle a long time?
1083
01:15:17,510 --> 01:15:19,470
- Yes.
- And she wouldn't have me,
1084
01:15:19,510 --> 01:15:22,060
and I'm grateful, because I'm not worth it.
1085
01:15:22,060 --> 01:15:26,310
I've been a terrible husband
and, forgive me, a worse father,
1086
01:15:26,310 --> 01:15:29,360
and I am simply tired of all the lies.
1087
01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:31,900
After brunch, I'll pack my things and go.
1088
01:15:31,900 --> 01:15:33,690
Dad, that's what you always do.
1089
01:15:33,700 --> 01:15:35,320
Clare, maybe I'd better come back next week.
1090
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:37,820
- No.
- Well, if it isn't Saint Howard,
1091
01:15:37,820 --> 01:15:39,830
the martyr and self-centered prick.
1092
01:15:39,830 --> 01:15:41,660
- I deserve that.
- Peter, lighten up.
1093
01:15:41,660 --> 01:15:42,950
Go, pack your things.
1094
01:15:42,950 --> 01:15:44,870
Your buddy Sidney is having
a swing party in Hell.
1095
01:15:44,870 --> 01:15:46,210
Bring your own rope!
1096
01:15:46,210 --> 01:15:50,710
Sidney Lipkin was my friend,
you pretentious, ass-licking poseur.
1097
01:15:51,090 --> 01:15:55,590
You're like some sad scum track left behind
by God knows what kind of shit-eating parasite.
1098
01:15:56,890 --> 01:16:00,220
Um, Clare, maybe I'd better come back,
perhaps when a photographer is free?
1099
01:16:00,220 --> 01:16:01,470
- No.
- Tell her!
1100
01:16:01,470 --> 01:16:04,430
Tell your wife that you're in love with Clare!
1101
01:16:04,430 --> 01:16:07,230
- You bastard.
- You wanna run that by me again?
1102
01:16:07,230 --> 01:16:09,520
To-Bel, he's joking.
1103
01:16:09,560 --> 01:16:11,980
Howard, are you...
Got high on something or what?
1104
01:16:11,980 --> 01:16:14,030
Go ahead, Eugene O'Neill, tell her.
1105
01:16:14,030 --> 01:16:16,650
It's the moral thing to do.
1106
01:16:16,650 --> 01:16:20,450
To... To-Bel, oh, God, it's true.
1107
01:16:20,450 --> 01:16:22,240
- Uh-huh.
- Peter!
1108
01:16:22,240 --> 01:16:24,790
So you're in love with the rerun here.
1109
01:16:24,790 --> 01:16:26,460
Well, ain't that a bitch.
1110
01:16:26,460 --> 01:16:29,170
The ocelot must kill every day to live.
1111
01:16:29,170 --> 01:16:30,750
What?
1112
01:16:30,750 --> 01:16:35,250
It isn't true, I mean, I'm not in love with Peter.
1113
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:38,430
Well, maybe.
1114
01:16:38,430 --> 01:16:41,300
Well, let me tell you something, hubby clearest.
1115
01:16:41,300 --> 01:16:43,260
Aunt To-Bel, tell him about the movie.
1116
01:16:43,260 --> 01:16:44,720
Mind your mouth, baby.
1117
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:46,810
A few months ago, your buddy Howard here
1118
01:16:46,810 --> 01:16:50,900
did some exploration
of certain dark parts of my continent.
1119
01:16:50,900 --> 01:16:52,020
I don't know what you're talking about.
1120
01:16:52,020 --> 01:16:53,650
I never met this woman before in my life!
1121
01:16:53,650 --> 01:16:55,230
The fuck you didn't.
1122
01:16:55,240 --> 01:16:58,660
Dr. Doolittle here went so deep
into areas unexplored
1123
01:16:58,660 --> 01:17:02,700
by your feeble play-writing ass
that I got to thinking he was Lewis and Clark.
1124
01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:04,660
- You're lying.
- Oh, am I now?
1125
01:17:04,660 --> 01:17:07,000
Well, let me give you
a little something else to think about.
1126
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:11,500
Yesterday, I fucked the houseboy
in broad daylight doggy style.
1127
01:17:13,710 --> 01:17:16,170
You cheap black whore.
1128
01:17:16,170 --> 01:17:19,010
Clare is a real woman,
and she likes to wash, too,
1129
01:17:19,010 --> 01:17:21,220
- with soap, everywhere!
- Your mama!
1130
01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:24,390
- Mother, you didn't.
- Of course I didn't, sweetheart.
1131
01:17:24,390 --> 01:17:28,180
Kelly, let Rosa fix you up
a fine little Mayan pancake.
1132
01:17:28,180 --> 01:17:29,600
You... you screwed Juan?
1133
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:32,480
The other one, what's his name?
1134
01:17:32,480 --> 01:17:33,810
Frank.
1135
01:17:33,820 --> 01:17:38,070
It was so degrading,
I felt like some fabulous farm animal.
1136
01:17:38,070 --> 01:17:40,450
- Oh, spare me.
- That's a lie.
1137
01:17:40,450 --> 01:17:44,160
Frank wouldn't touch you
and he would never treat a woman like that.
1138
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:46,040
Zandra, what's got into you?
1139
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:48,410
Come over here and sit next to your Aunt Lis.
1140
01:17:48,410 --> 01:17:50,750
And you! You hypocrite!
1141
01:17:50,750 --> 01:17:54,420
I know you humped out what's left
of your scattered brains with Juan last night.
1142
01:17:54,420 --> 01:17:55,630
How dare you!
1143
01:17:55,630 --> 01:17:57,840
- Who told you that?
- Oh, go ahead and deny it.
1144
01:17:57,840 --> 01:18:00,630
- I saw Juan on the stairs!
- Zandra, that's enough.
1145
01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:02,470
I was with Mrs. Saravian.
1146
01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:06,140
She wouldn't let me touch her,
but I was with her all night, wasn't I, Lis?
1147
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:08,810
No! I mean...
1148
01:18:08,810 --> 01:18:12,310
Aunt To-Bel told me, compared to my daddy,
I was hung like a rhino!
1149
01:18:12,310 --> 01:18:14,980
A rhino?
1150
01:18:14,980 --> 01:18:17,150
Try to run from Cozcacuauhtli.
1151
01:18:17,150 --> 01:18:21,650
Savage vulture,
he will pull you into air by your tits.
1152
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,320
Oh, God!
1153
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:24,450
Kelly, we'll talk!
1154
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:27,620
Next week is open for me!
1155
01:18:27,620 --> 01:18:30,410
There goes my chance at a comeback!
1156
01:18:30,410 --> 01:18:33,170
Thank you all very much!
1157
01:18:33,170 --> 01:18:34,960
Shit.
1158
01:18:47,100 --> 01:18:48,560
Oh!
1159
01:18:50,640 --> 01:18:52,190
Clare, I'm sorry!
1160
01:18:52,190 --> 01:18:55,690
I didn't mean to start anything!
1161
01:18:55,690 --> 01:18:59,440
Howard, it's not that.
1162
01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:03,940
It's just that I'm confused.
1163
01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:06,820
Over Peter?
1164
01:19:06,820 --> 01:19:09,330
Peter, Sidney.
1165
01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:11,660
Christ.
1166
01:19:11,660 --> 01:19:15,710
You know, I've always had someone in my life.
1167
01:19:15,710 --> 01:19:17,880
Always, like a drug!
1168
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:21,170
I was thinking the same thing the other day.
1169
01:19:21,170 --> 01:19:23,260
Women, always women.
1170
01:19:23,260 --> 01:19:26,140
I'm so tired of this dance.
1171
01:19:26,140 --> 01:19:28,430
There's a beauty in being alone,
isn't there, Howard?
1172
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:32,560
- Hmm?
- Oh, Clare, I've loved you from day one.
1173
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:34,060
Oh, Howard.
1174
01:19:34,060 --> 01:19:36,440
Sidney didn't know what he had.
1175
01:19:36,440 --> 01:19:37,980
Oh!
1176
01:19:37,980 --> 01:19:41,480
I wanna be inside you, now.
1177
01:19:41,480 --> 01:19:43,280
Are you insane?
1178
01:19:50,330 --> 01:19:53,080
Dr. Saravian?
1179
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:57,580
Is there anything else you'd like me
to convey to Mrs. Saravian?
1180
01:19:57,630 --> 01:19:59,460
No, Frank.
1181
01:19:59,460 --> 01:20:02,420
Just mind your business.
1182
01:20:02,420 --> 01:20:04,920
And be careful.
1183
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:07,680
You don't wanna get burned.
1184
01:20:53,390 --> 01:20:55,640
You singing about me, Clare?
1185
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:06,740
Well, it might've been at another time.
1186
01:21:06,740 --> 01:21:08,650
Weekend's coming to an end.
1187
01:21:08,650 --> 01:21:10,660
Frank, they always do.
1188
01:21:10,660 --> 01:21:12,820
Hmm.
1189
01:21:12,870 --> 01:21:14,660
Should've happened by now.
1190
01:21:14,660 --> 01:21:19,160
What am I for you, a science project?
1191
01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:22,250
Look, I had a crush on you, that's all.
1192
01:21:22,250 --> 01:21:25,090
You're not hurt, are you?
1193
01:21:25,090 --> 01:21:26,710
Can you be hurt?
1194
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,930
I'm going away, Clare.
1195
01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:35,430
- I'm leaving.
- When?
1196
01:21:35,430 --> 01:21:38,600
Can you be in my room
at about four o'clock?
1197
01:21:41,060 --> 01:21:42,810
I wanna say goodbye.
1198
01:21:53,620 --> 01:21:55,950
Hello, baby, you mad at me?
1199
01:21:58,080 --> 01:22:02,120
Come on, now, talk to me, honey.
1200
01:22:02,130 --> 01:22:04,840
Oh, God, that's hot.
1201
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,840
Is that a (unintelligible)?
1202
01:22:06,840 --> 01:22:08,710
Ooh!
1203
01:22:10,430 --> 01:22:12,640
Ah!
1204
01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:14,260
You humiliated me.
1205
01:22:14,260 --> 01:22:17,770
Here I am prime time,
and you fucking the rerun.
1206
01:22:19,810 --> 01:22:22,310
Tell me I'm looking hot, shit.
1207
01:22:22,310 --> 01:22:25,690
I hope you need a transfusion,
get you some of that bad Hollywood blood,
1208
01:22:25,690 --> 01:22:27,900
serve your sorry ass right.
1209
01:22:31,450 --> 01:22:32,740
Ooh.
1210
01:22:32,740 --> 01:22:34,700
Oh! Oh!
1211
01:22:37,700 --> 01:22:41,080
Oh, God, To-Bel, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1212
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:42,750
Ooh!
1213
01:22:44,670 --> 01:22:49,170
Motherfucker, motherfucker!
1214
01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:52,760
All right, Dr. Saravian,
where'd you hide the goodies?
1215
01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,220
Mm-hm.
1216
01:23:02,730 --> 01:23:03,940
Hm.
1217
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:07,860
Mm-hm.
1218
01:23:10,190 --> 01:23:11,490
Bingo.
1219
01:23:17,660 --> 01:23:19,030
Sweet dreams, Clare.
1220
01:23:20,290 --> 01:23:22,960
Guest house, chico, 4:30.
1221
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:24,330
What's happening at 4:30?
1222
01:23:24,330 --> 01:23:25,580
The widow's happening.
1223
01:23:25,580 --> 01:23:27,540
She's very happening.
1224
01:23:27,540 --> 01:23:30,550
So be there or be queer.
1225
01:23:30,550 --> 01:23:34,090
Oh, bleed on me, big warrior!
1226
01:23:34,090 --> 01:23:36,590
- Bleed on me!
- Ride me.
1227
01:23:36,590 --> 01:23:39,560
Ride your sad little private pony
straight down into Hell.
1228
01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:42,980
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1229
01:23:43,020 --> 01:23:45,810
Zandra, what's wrong? What is it?
1230
01:23:45,810 --> 01:23:48,440
Mo, my life is so dumb.
1231
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:50,360
What have I got to show for it? Nothing!
1232
01:23:50,360 --> 01:23:52,990
You're still very young,
you've just barely turned 17!
1233
01:23:53,030 --> 01:23:55,570
Oh, Mo, I'm a coward!
1234
01:23:55,570 --> 01:23:59,280
My idea of taking a risk
is losing my birth control pills
1235
01:23:59,280 --> 01:24:03,780
or shopping at Saks without a sale!
1236
01:24:03,790 --> 01:24:06,670
I wanna live, but I don't know how!
1237
01:24:06,670 --> 01:24:08,380
I hate myself!
1238
01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:11,710
Would you like another drink, Clare?
1239
01:24:11,710 --> 01:24:14,920
Oh, no, I've had enough, Frank.
1240
01:24:14,920 --> 01:24:18,260
- So you're leaving us.
- Two years.
1241
01:24:18,260 --> 01:24:20,850
I got that two-year itch.
1242
01:24:20,850 --> 01:24:24,930
Zandra, come with me to Africa.
1243
01:24:24,930 --> 01:24:29,270
- What?
- I said come, as my assistant on the Hunger Project.
1244
01:24:29,270 --> 01:24:30,360
What are you saying?
1245
01:24:30,360 --> 01:24:32,190
We'd have to ask
your mother's permission, of course.
1246
01:24:32,190 --> 01:24:34,110
Oh, she'd say yes, I know she would!
1247
01:24:34,110 --> 01:24:38,610
There'll be disease, heat, swollen bellies,
1248
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:43,780
shriveled souls, and a handful of people like us.
1249
01:24:44,290 --> 01:24:48,790
We'll come back older, sadder, and wiser,
1250
01:24:49,380 --> 01:24:53,880
but we'll have the joy of knowing
that we've sacrificed selflessly.
1251
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:58,760
No one could ever take that away from us, ever.
1252
01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:00,390
Thank you, Mo.
1253
01:25:02,510 --> 01:25:05,350
I feel myself changing already.
1254
01:25:07,060 --> 01:25:11,560
I know now my whole life has been
in preparation for this journey.
1255
01:25:17,070 --> 01:25:20,950
Oh, and Zandra, we'll probably
have to share a small tent
1256
01:25:20,950 --> 01:25:23,450
for the first six months or so.
1257
01:25:23,450 --> 01:25:25,580
I know you won't mind.
1258
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:33,960
Come on, now, just once.
1259
01:25:33,960 --> 01:25:35,960
Just once, Clare.
1260
01:25:38,170 --> 01:25:40,840
You just want me because you know
you can't have me.
1261
01:25:40,840 --> 01:25:43,510
I thought you wanted me
because I didn't care about you.
1262
01:25:43,510 --> 01:25:45,510
That's why you stayed with Sidney.
1263
01:25:45,510 --> 01:25:47,020
It's the truth, isn't it?
1264
01:25:47,020 --> 01:25:48,770
You owe me.
1265
01:25:50,440 --> 01:25:53,230
I owe you nothing, Frank.
1266
01:25:55,570 --> 01:25:58,570
There's a line, see?
1267
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:03,070
And you're stepping on it, dangerously close.
1268
01:26:03,120 --> 01:26:07,620
Now, what was it you wanted to give me?
1269
01:26:13,420 --> 01:26:16,380
The line, the fucking line.
1270
01:26:18,260 --> 01:26:21,130
All my life I've been crossing that fucking line.
1271
01:26:21,130 --> 01:26:24,590
I'm always amazed
when there's nothing on the other side.
1272
01:26:24,600 --> 01:26:26,930
I like you, Clare.
1273
01:26:26,930 --> 01:26:28,640
I love you.
1274
01:26:32,480 --> 01:26:36,360
I always wanted to see what
that would feel like to say that to someone,
1275
01:26:36,360 --> 01:26:38,360
cross that line.
1276
01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:49,500
I knew you wanted me,
what this broken boy had.
1277
01:26:49,500 --> 01:26:52,040
You can't get it from a rich boy.
1278
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:54,370
What? Do I love you?
1279
01:26:54,380 --> 01:26:56,710
How can you ask me that?
1280
01:27:18,860 --> 01:27:21,440
I'm sorry, Clare.
1281
01:27:21,440 --> 01:27:23,950
I really wish I could've loved you.
1282
01:27:32,460 --> 01:27:35,080
You were right about those rich ladies.
1283
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:36,830
You should've stuck around for the show!
1284
01:27:36,830 --> 01:27:39,630
I had other things to do, man.
1285
01:27:39,630 --> 01:27:43,050
I've never felt so exploited in my life.
1286
01:27:43,050 --> 01:27:46,720
It's been a thing she wanted me to do.
1287
01:27:46,720 --> 01:27:48,760
- Which brings me back to...
- Hold it, Frank.
1288
01:27:48,760 --> 01:27:51,680
You're not gonna stand me up, are you, Juan?
1289
01:27:51,680 --> 01:27:52,890
There's a reason, man.
1290
01:27:52,890 --> 01:27:56,150
For welshing? I don't think so.
1291
01:27:56,150 --> 01:27:57,350
We had an agreement.
1292
01:27:57,350 --> 01:27:59,650
I slept with her, man, last night.
1293
01:27:59,650 --> 01:28:01,690
The divorcée?
1294
01:28:01,690 --> 01:28:04,360
I made love to her in her bedroom.
1295
01:28:04,360 --> 01:28:06,570
Do I have to spell it out for you?
1296
01:28:06,570 --> 01:28:08,530
She wanted me.
1297
01:28:08,530 --> 01:28:10,780
She cares for me.
1298
01:28:10,790 --> 01:28:13,410
She needs someone in the world for her.
1299
01:28:13,410 --> 01:28:17,290
Maybe... maybe I love her.
1300
01:28:24,220 --> 01:28:26,090
What's so funny, man?
1301
01:28:27,430 --> 01:28:28,550
We did it!
1302
01:28:28,550 --> 01:28:30,850
We did it, don't you see?
1303
01:28:30,850 --> 01:28:33,270
Our side won.
1304
01:28:33,270 --> 01:28:35,180
I wish we never made the stupid bet.
1305
01:28:35,180 --> 01:28:39,350
Yeah, well, your dick might give you an argument.
1306
01:28:39,360 --> 01:28:41,730
So you're in love with her, eh?
1307
01:28:41,730 --> 01:28:44,740
Wait till old Van De Kamp hears about this.
1308
01:28:44,740 --> 01:28:46,030
What are you talking about?
1309
01:28:46,030 --> 01:28:48,160
I made a side bet with the diet doctor.
1310
01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:49,950
A side bet?
1311
01:28:49,950 --> 01:28:52,580
Had to cover my ass in case of a draw.
1312
01:28:52,580 --> 01:28:55,620
You son of a bitch, what if it gets back to Lisabeth?
1313
01:28:55,620 --> 01:28:57,620
She'll think it's a riot!
1314
01:28:57,620 --> 01:28:59,920
What is she gonna do, get feelings over it?
1315
01:28:59,920 --> 01:29:01,250
Huh?
1316
01:29:01,250 --> 01:29:03,630
Let me clue you in on something.
1317
01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:08,130
To these rich bitches,
life is just one situation comedy.
1318
01:29:08,300 --> 01:29:09,840
Frank, I lied.
1319
01:29:09,840 --> 01:29:11,140
What?
1320
01:29:14,390 --> 01:29:17,020
I lied, okay? I was putting you on.
1321
01:29:17,020 --> 01:29:18,100
You're shittin' me.
1322
01:29:18,100 --> 01:29:20,100
Hey, I never got close.
1323
01:29:20,100 --> 01:29:21,940
Mrs. Hepburn-Saravian's a classy lady.
1324
01:29:21,940 --> 01:29:24,230
I was in way over my head.
1325
01:29:24,230 --> 01:29:27,320
I don't wanna talk about it, okay?
1326
01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:31,820
As for the agreement...
1327
01:29:32,780 --> 01:29:35,040
See you at midnight.
1328
01:29:40,420 --> 01:29:43,090
Tito?
1329
01:29:43,090 --> 01:29:47,460
- Tito, I need those tapes.
- Shh.
1330
01:29:47,460 --> 01:29:49,340
He sleeps.
1331
01:29:49,340 --> 01:29:53,840
He need to sleep the sleep of no dreams.
1332
01:29:54,220 --> 01:29:57,640
- Rosa.
- I am here.
1333
01:29:59,350 --> 01:30:02,270
It's so windy on the pyramid.
1334
01:30:05,440 --> 01:30:08,070
- Hi, Juan.
- Hi, Tito.
1335
01:30:08,070 --> 01:30:09,690
You got a fever?
1336
01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:10,950
Why?
1337
01:30:10,950 --> 01:30:12,660
You're talking funny.
1338
01:30:12,660 --> 01:30:17,160
You know, Juan, for a Chicano,
sometimes you act like a super schmuck.
1339
01:30:24,840 --> 01:30:27,880
Juan, don't be a crocodile.
1340
01:30:27,880 --> 01:30:30,170
- Rosa, I ain't got time.
- Cipactli.
1341
01:30:30,170 --> 01:30:34,180
You lounge in the sun, create nothing.
1342
01:30:34,180 --> 01:30:36,890
The señora, she waits.
1343
01:30:36,890 --> 01:30:38,970
She don't know for what.
1344
01:30:38,970 --> 01:30:43,470
Make your heart a sword, not a spoon.
1345
01:30:43,480 --> 01:30:46,610
Comprendes?
1346
01:30:46,610 --> 01:30:49,230
Rosa, I think you should look into disability.
1347
01:30:49,230 --> 01:30:51,440
You're burned out as a housekeeper.
1348
01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:00,450
Come in.
1349
01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:05,040
Juan, what is it?
1350
01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:09,420
I wanted to see you, that's all.
1351
01:31:09,420 --> 01:31:12,300
Well, here I am.
1352
01:31:12,300 --> 01:31:14,840
See Lis pack.
1353
01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:17,970
See Lis run. See Lis hide.
1354
01:31:17,970 --> 01:31:20,640
And right now, Lis is really tired,
so just say what you've gotta say...
1355
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:23,140
Don't treat me like a child.
1356
01:31:23,140 --> 01:31:25,020
I don't know what you're talking about.
1357
01:31:25,020 --> 01:31:29,520
- And I'm sure Mrs. Lipkin wouldn't...
- Don't treat me like a servant either.
1358
01:31:29,690 --> 01:31:32,400
Juan, please.
1359
01:31:32,400 --> 01:31:35,410
We made good love last night.
1360
01:31:35,410 --> 01:31:38,080
Don't you feel anything?
1361
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:42,580
Or is your life one big situation comedy?
1362
01:31:43,960 --> 01:31:46,460
Let's just say that it didn't happen.
1363
01:31:46,500 --> 01:31:50,460
- It's gonna be better for both of us.
- No way.
1364
01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:55,000
I thought I was too macho to feel
the way you make me feel, but that's bullshit.
1365
01:31:56,470 --> 01:31:58,550
I want you, Lis.
1366
01:31:58,550 --> 01:32:01,390
You're not making any sense.
1367
01:32:01,390 --> 01:32:04,430
I got for you what nobody ever had to give.
1368
01:32:04,440 --> 01:32:08,940
- It's impossible.
- Lis, I've got desire, I've got honor, I've got heart.
1369
01:32:09,270 --> 01:32:13,650
I look in your eyes, and I know
you don't wanna be in the cage anymore.
1370
01:32:13,650 --> 01:32:16,860
Juan, I don't know what love is.
1371
01:32:16,860 --> 01:32:19,740
But maybe I can find out?
1372
01:32:19,740 --> 01:32:22,160
Maybe you can save me?
1373
01:32:28,000 --> 01:32:30,340
But, Juan, I have to warn you,
1374
01:32:30,340 --> 01:32:34,300
I want us to do things, to go places,
to live in a life that you can't afford.
1375
01:32:34,300 --> 01:32:38,800
I have everything to share,
but you're gonna pay with what people think,
1376
01:32:38,930 --> 01:32:42,680
the way they look at you,
looks that say, "she bought him."
1377
01:32:42,680 --> 01:32:44,680
I'm a man.
1378
01:32:44,680 --> 01:32:49,180
A look, a whisper,
how can these things change a man?
1379
01:32:49,810 --> 01:32:52,940
I don't care about anything
but being with you, Lis.
1380
01:32:52,940 --> 01:32:56,990
- Forever.
- No, no, don't say forever.
1381
01:32:56,990 --> 01:32:59,110
We'll go one day at...
1382
01:33:09,670 --> 01:33:11,130
Goodnight, Lis.
1383
01:33:18,470 --> 01:33:20,090
Tomorrow we'll go away.
1384
01:33:20,090 --> 01:33:22,300
We'll open all the cages.
1385
01:33:52,330 --> 01:33:53,840
What's so funny?
1386
01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:59,010
Yeah, I know, you're not laughing at me,
you're laughing with me, right?
1387
01:34:02,510 --> 01:34:05,680
Can I take your shirt off?
1388
01:34:05,680 --> 01:34:07,970
Yeah, go for it.
1389
01:34:11,350 --> 01:34:12,690
There we go.
1390
01:34:12,690 --> 01:34:13,810
What a trip.
1391
01:34:13,810 --> 01:34:15,860
Always wanted a valet.
1392
01:34:20,150 --> 01:34:21,910
Hey, what are you doing?
1393
01:34:21,910 --> 01:34:24,320
Taking your socks off.
1394
01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:26,160
I thought you was gonna knock 'em off.
1395
01:34:26,160 --> 01:34:27,410
Nice feet.
1396
01:34:29,750 --> 01:34:31,210
Good toes.
1397
01:34:32,960 --> 01:34:35,170
Lay down.
1398
01:34:35,170 --> 01:34:37,090
On your stomach.
1399
01:34:45,800 --> 01:34:47,810
No music, no tequila?
1400
01:34:47,810 --> 01:34:50,730
You ain't gonna get no fuckin' second date,
that's for sure.
1401
01:34:55,270 --> 01:34:57,440
I'm gonna give you a massage.
1402
01:34:57,440 --> 01:35:00,030
Oh, you're gonna loosen me up, huh?
1403
01:35:00,030 --> 01:35:03,280
This is no fun for me if it's no fun for you, Juan.
1404
01:35:05,320 --> 01:35:07,620
You're a thoughtful dude, Frank.
1405
01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:23,130
Good hands.
1406
01:35:25,220 --> 01:35:27,220
This part ain't so bad.
1407
01:35:48,080 --> 01:35:50,790
Hey, you live long enough,
1408
01:35:50,790 --> 01:35:53,500
you're bound to do some weird shit.
1409
01:37:15,200 --> 01:37:19,700
I'm sorry, Peter, but the simple truth is
I have a prior commitment.
1410
01:37:21,170 --> 01:37:22,790
I see.
1411
01:37:22,790 --> 01:37:25,960
Well, goodbye and thank you
for a wonderful weekend.
1412
01:37:25,960 --> 01:37:27,470
What about To-Bel?
1413
01:37:27,470 --> 01:37:31,390
I guess what she needed all along
was a good gynecologist.
1414
01:37:34,010 --> 01:37:35,970
Good luck with Hillary.
1415
01:37:35,970 --> 01:37:38,140
Good luck with Nocturnal Admissions.
1416
01:37:38,140 --> 01:37:40,600
Call me if you need help with the scripts.
1417
01:37:40,600 --> 01:37:44,020
It's been my lifelong ambition to sell out to TV.
1418
01:37:48,820 --> 01:37:51,610
Oh, shit.
1419
01:37:51,620 --> 01:37:53,330
Going somewhere, Pancho?
1420
01:37:53,330 --> 01:37:54,990
Who, me?
1421
01:37:54,990 --> 01:37:59,490
Now, Clare's going away, too,
but I want you over there anyway, with Rosa.
1422
01:38:00,250 --> 01:38:02,920
- That's all right, isn't it?
- I love you, Mom.
1423
01:38:02,920 --> 01:38:04,500
Bye, baby.
1424
01:38:08,920 --> 01:38:10,220
Hey, Juan.
1425
01:38:12,590 --> 01:38:15,050
Where's my five grand, baby?
1426
01:38:19,230 --> 01:38:22,310
Hey, man!
1427
01:38:22,310 --> 01:38:24,770
You are rude and impolite.
1428
01:38:24,770 --> 01:38:28,740
Now get the fuck out of here before I hack off
your petty leather dictations.
1429
01:38:36,240 --> 01:38:37,540
Thanks, man.
1430
01:38:37,540 --> 01:38:39,040
Forget about it.
1431
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:41,080
I do right by my friends.
1432
01:38:41,080 --> 01:38:42,540
Ff lend?
1433
01:38:42,540 --> 01:38:45,380
Ff lend.
1434
01:38:45,380 --> 01:38:47,380
- So long, dude.
- All right.
1435
01:38:47,380 --> 01:38:50,260
Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
1436
01:38:50,260 --> 01:38:51,840
That don't leave much.
1437
01:38:51,840 --> 01:38:53,930
Write me from Antigua!
1438
01:38:56,600 --> 01:38:58,720
Remember, they like it underwater!
1439
01:39:00,890 --> 01:39:03,480
Juan, where were you last night?
1440
01:39:03,480 --> 01:39:04,560
I missed you!
1441
01:39:04,560 --> 01:39:08,690
Well, you're never gonna believe this.
1442
01:39:12,360 --> 01:39:14,110
- Sidney.
- Would you have dinner with me tonight?
1443
01:39:14,110 --> 01:39:15,740
I really wanna get to know you again.
1444
01:39:15,740 --> 01:39:18,200
- Sidney, I am going away.
- Well, I travel light!
1445
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:21,450
- When do we leave?
- I am going alone!
1446
01:39:21,460 --> 01:39:23,540
And I don't want to see you anymore.
1447
01:39:23,540 --> 01:39:27,290
- But I just heard you say to the...
- Yes, prior commitment.
1448
01:39:27,290 --> 01:39:31,790
Her name is Clare, and she's gonna make
one hell of a great new friend, Sidney.
1449
01:39:34,050 --> 01:39:35,630
So goodbye.
1450
01:39:44,730 --> 01:39:47,190
And good luck on your own journey.
1451
01:39:50,820 --> 01:39:52,740
(unintelligible).
1452
01:40:06,880 --> 01:40:10,630
Ah, you love me, don't you, Bojangles?
1453
01:40:10,630 --> 01:40:14,840
Oh, Sidney, you're so full of shit.